Something Worth Fighting For
by livinlife2thefullest
Summary: Sequel to my story: What We've Lost. It would really help if you read that one first. To get back what you've lost you must be willing to fight for it. To hold on and refuse to let go.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter: 1**

The doctor said that he would explain it to them all, but Angela didn't think it felt right so she made her way down the hallway to go deliver the news herself. She stopped at the window that allowed you to see into the waiting room. She briefly noted that Maura wasn't there to be found, but that didn't really surprise her. She figured that Maura would want to be by herself for a moment and Angela didn't blame her. She could see Frankie there, sitting with his head in his hands and rocking slightly back and forth. Frost sat on one side of him while Korsak sat on the other. Both of them were offering up as much support as they could while trying to fight their own inner battles of grief. Tommy was there as well and when he got up Frost let him take his seat and Tommy sat beside Frankie and wrapped an arm around him. Frankie lifted his head up and looked at Tommy for a moment. A look of knowing passed between the two before they gave each other a quick brotherly hug. Angela watched this and despite the sadness in her heart she felt a small smile tug slightly at the corner of her mouth. She knew that Frankie and Tommy loved each other, they were brothers after all, but they never really showed each other emotion like that. She took in the stress and the worry written deep in all their faces. Even Cavanaugh's and, a bit shockingly to her, Crowe's as well. She took a deep breath and waited for a moment more so that she could collect herself enough to go into the room. She now remembered why she wouldn't make it as a doctor. _If only you could see how much you mean to us all Janie_, she thought as she stepped through the doorway.

* * *

She stared down at them as if they were foreign objects to her. A little while ago her mother had given her some clothes then stepped out of the room with her doctor. She was left alone in the quietness of the room. It was as she was about to get up to start changing that she noticed them. She put the clothes down on the bed then let herself fall down beside them. She lifted them up, turned them over, and just stared at them. She tried to recall anything that would give her any clues as to why they were there but nothing was coming to her. She was drawing a blank as she used her right hand to feel the one on her left hand then vice versa. She felt tears coming into her eyes as she continuously felt the bumps on her hands and fought to remember anything about them. She could feel the frustration building up inside of her. She didn't acknowledge the knock on the door and only looked up when her mother stepped in. The first thing Angela noticed was that Jane was still in the hospital gown.

"Jane why aren't you…" She looked down where Jane's eyes had fallen again and felt a hitch in her throat when she realized what Jane was staring at. She knew that it was selfish of her but she really hoped that Jane wouldn't ask her about those scars, not right then, she was still getting over the shock of her loosing her memory in the first place. Jane noticed the flash of discomfort, and what she thought was fear, that went across her mother's face. She looked from her back to the scars and decided not to ask about them at that moment. She had scars on her hands. There was no way that it was going to be a good story. Instead, she looked up at Angela and asked the other question that had been on her mind since waking up. At her daughter's next words, Angela almost wished that she could go back and tell her about the scars instead. "Ma," Jane said with her voice slightly raspier than usual. "Where's dad?"

* * *

She didn't know how long she had been sitting there among the eerie silence of what was known as the garden. She had allowed herself to completely get lost inside herself as she tried to figure out what she was going to do. She knew, somewhere deep down inside, that it was completely irrational but she couldn't help but put some blame on herself for the situation. She didn't even notice the silent footsteps as they approached and jumped slightly when a hand touched her shoulder.

"Sorry I didn't mean to scare you." Korsak said as he took a seat beside her.

"How did you find me?" Maura said wiping some tears, that she hadn't realized were there, out of her eyes.

"I asked one of the nurses, where would a person go if they needed to be alone?" He replied simply. He looked at her then turned his attention to the ground and she did the same. "You want to talk about it?" He said after a short pause. Maura felt tears swell up in her eyes as she thought about the blank empty look Jane had when she looked at her.

"She doesn't," She sniffed and wiped her eyes to try and control the tears but it was no use. "She doesn't remember me." Korsak didn't say anything. He was just going to let Maura talk and get it all out. "You should have seen the look in her eyes. It was like she was looking at a stranger!" She felt a tear fall and she quickly wiped it away. "It's like I'm being punished." She said in a more quiet voice and that alerted Korsak.

"Punished for what," he said looking at her but she kept her eyes focused on the ground and stayed quiet. "Maura talk to me," he said gently and placed a comforting hand on her back. Her eyes met his and his heart broke at the deep emotions he saw in them.

"I…I didn't appreciate what we had." She paused and searched within herself for the right words. "Jane is everything I've always wanted and I let us drift apart. When I noticed that it was happening I should have fought to get us back to the way we were."

"Maura…"

"I didn't kiss her goodbye Korsak." Her voice was getting heavy with emotion as she once again replayed that morning in her head. "I heard her get up to get ready for work, and I pretended to be asleep when she kissed me goodbye and said she loved me." Tears were falling again but she didn't even try to keep them back. "I was planning on making dinner that night, watching a movie together, and just staying up late talking. Just like we used to do." Korsak felt tears come to his own eyes as he listened to her, wishing he could take away her pain. "It wasn't supposed to end up like this." She was full on crying at that point and Korsak wrapped her up in his arms and held her tightly.

"It'll be alright Maura." He whispered as he rubbed her back as soothingly as he could.

"I can't lose her Vince. I need her here with me." She said through her tears.

"I know Maura."

"I can't…"

"We can work through this Maura. We're all going to get through this." He said to himself as much as her.

**You guys didn't seriously think that I was going to end the stoy with Jane loosing her memroy did you? Anyways I hoped you guys enjoyed this chapter. Also, I tried to plan everything out, and I have some idea of how I want this to go, but really I'm just writting this as it comes to me plus I have school and all the lovely wrok that comes with that...Grrr.** **So, I apologize now if it takes me a while to update on some of these chapters.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter: 2**

Jane thought about the look of hurt that had quickly taken over her mother's face when the words left her mouth. Angela felt all her courage leave her and she just promised that they would talk about it soon. She then told Jane to get dressed and left the room quickly. The first thought that crossed throughher head was that something bad had happened to him. That maybe he was sick, or hurt, or even worse dead. _I would remember my own father's death wouldn't I? _She thought and shook her head to try and push the thoughts away. Everything was just so messed up and she kept waiting to wake up and find that it was all just some bad dream. She got up from the bed and even though she was the only one in the room she went into the bathroom to get dressed. She put on her pants fist then took off the hospital gown. She watched it as it fell to the floor, and as her eyes were traveling downwards they caught sight of another disturbing sight. Her eyes went wide and she reached, a bit hesitantly, towards the newfound scar. She felt tears come into her eyes as she looked at it. Her entire life was changed and it wasn't making sense to her. She just wanted to get out of there, to just go home, curl up in bed, and pray that everything be fixed tomorrow. She leaned against the wall, feeling the coolness of it against her back, and let herself slide down to the floor. She brought her knees up to her chest and tried to block the world out, even if only for a moment.

* * *

Angela took a few deep breaths to calm her nerves down and made sure there were no more tears in her eyes before she knocked on the door to let Jane know she was back. Slowly and as quietly as she could, Angela opened up the door and stepped into the empty hospital room. She figured that Jane had went into the bathroom and made her way over to the bathroom door. She was about to knock when she heard the muffled sobs. It suddenly struck her that Jane would've seen the scar from the shooting and she silently cursed at herself. She should have warned her about it and the scars on her hands for that matter. She walked quietly back over to the bed and sat down, put her head in her hands, and rubed her temples. Already she was doing a terrible job at helping her daughter. She heard the bathroom door unlock and sat up just as Jane appeared. They looked at each other for a moment, both of them taking in a moment of silence.

"You ready to go?" Angela asked softly and Jane just nodded and headed for the door. Angela took another deep breath and stood up to follow.

* * *

They all sat there thinking about what Angela had told them. They all had their own questions but all of them were a bit too stunned to put a voice to them. Jane was going to be fine, physically at least, and at that moment that was enough. The rest could be figured out later as long as she was going to be ok. Frost looked around at the faces in the room and saw his own emotions reflected. They were all stuck somewhere between being relieved and heartbroken at the situation. Korsak had immediately went out to find Maura as soon as Angela left, and now she sat there between him and Korsak just staring at her hands that rested in her lap. The quiet footsteps caught everyone's attention and they all stood to see Angela and Jane standing outside the waiting room. Jane looked at all of them then turned to look at Angela who whispered something to her and urged her to step inside the room. An uncomfortable silence filled the air and Frankie stepped forward to break the tension.

"Hey sis," he said wrapping his arms around her and she hugged him back. "Glad to see you're ok. Relatively speaking of course." She gave him a small smile as they released each other.

"Thanks Frankie," she said and her eyes went wide when she caught sight of the person behind him. "Tommy?" Her face was an expression of surprise. Frankie stepped back and allowed Tommy to take his place and they wrapped their arms around each other in a quick hug. "How…when did you get out?" Tommy felt a sting of sadness go through him at her question but covered it with a smile.

"Been out for a while. Got a job, the life is all straightened out now." She nodded but wasn't quite sure of how to react to the new information. Tommy smiled again and stepped aside to allow Korsak to step up.

"Detective Korsak," she said and held her hand out. Everyone shifted a bit uncomfortably. Korsak felt the burning sensation behind his eyes as he took her hand in his. She never called him detective unless she was playing around, and the last time they shook hands was the day they met. Jane noticed the change in the room and looked around to see if she had done anything wrong, but couldn't seem to figure out what had happened. Korsak let go of her hand and she looked towards the other man in the room who was staring at her.

"Jane," He said walking over to her and she gave him a blank stare. She frantically searched for anything but came up blank. Frost gave a sad nod and held his hand out. "Detective Frost," he said and she slowly shook his hand. When she let go he excused himself out of the room. She recognized Cavanaugh and Crowe, and last her eyes fell to the woman who was standing in the corner of the room. After she had rushed out of the room Jane had asked who she was, but her mother who was still in shock hadn't answered her. Jane took a nervous step towards her and their eyes met. She looked into the other woman's sad eyes and felt bad for her, and extremely frustrated at herself.

"So…I didn't get your name earlier." She tried to keep her voice from shaking as she spoke. Maura felt her breath hitch in her throat again and felt the tears coming back to her but she fought to get her voice to come out.

"Maura." Her voice sounded broken even to herself. Jane looked into her eyes for a moment longer. She was hoping that something would come back to her but there was nothing and she shook her head in frustration. Maura looked down at her feet and blinked a few times to control the rapidly forming tears.

"I…" Jane ran a hand through her hair and looked back into Maura's eyes. "I'm sorry that I can't. That I don't remember you." Maura closed her eyes and nodded. When she opened them again Jane was gone. Angela flashed her a sympathetic look before going to catch up to her.

* * *

They were silent as they sat in the car on their way to Jane's apartment. Neither of them knew what to say to each other. Jane went back and forth from looking at her hands to looking out the window. She had some questions she wanted answered. She wanted, needed, to make some sort of sense out of everything. A part of her wanted to just get it over with but a bigger part just wanted to go home and curl up in bed.

"Jane," her mother said silently and she turned to look at her. "Are you sure you don't want to go back to Maura's. You practically live over there now…"

"No." Jane said before she could continue and the car was once again filled with silence for a moment.

"There's no food at your apartment," Angela said quietly, keeping her eyes on the road.

"I just want to go home."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter: 3**

Rest would not come that night, of that Maura was absolutely sure of. She had tried of course but it had been of no use because nothing she did had been able to slow her brain down at all. From the moment she walked through the door the cold atmosphere surrounded her. Worst of all was the silence that she was greeted with. Even Joe Friday hadn't come jumping at the sight of her arrival. She was on her way to her bedroom when something on the kitchen table caught her attention. It was an old folded up newspaper. She shook her head and moved to leave the room but her feet refused to follow her command and she stood there just staring at the newspaper. She knew without having to look that if she were to go over and pick it up it would be turned to the sports section. She knew that if she walked the rest of the way into the kitchen that there would be a dirty saucer and a coffee cup sitting in the sink. She could almost see Jane sitting at the table, eating something for breakfast and sipping coffee while reading up on the recent sport progress. After finishing with breakfast, Maura knew that Jane went back to the bedroom to come wake her up. She walked over to the table and after pausing for a brief moment she walked down the hallway. She stopped at the doorway to her bedroom and imagined what Jane might have been thinking as she watched her pretend to be asleep. _How long did she stay here just looking at me lying there before she decided to let me sleep in? What was going through her head as she reached over and reset my alarm for a later time? What was she thinking as she leaned down and gave me a kiss and whispered she loved me? What was she feeling when I didn't respond? _Questions fired through Maura's head at rapid speed as she just stood there looking into her deserted bedroom. It was dark so she turned on the light but it did little to help because the atmosphere itself was dark. She went to her closet and tried to push away the thoughts of Jane, knowing that she wouldn't be able to rest at all if she couldn't somehow turn her brain off at least for a few moments. She took out some pajamas and as she slowly pulled them on she couldn't stop the questions that were coming in so fast it felt like they were giving her a headache. She made her way over to the bed and turned out the light before settling down into the bed. The covers did little to warm her as she laid there asking all the questions that she had no answers for. She turned on to her side and her eyes met the picture of Jane that sat on the nightstand. She was smiling in the picture and her eyes were shining with happiness. Maura felt the burning sensation at the back of her throat and she turned away from the picture. She reached over to what had been deemed Jane's side of the bed and grabbed the pillow. She wrapped her arms around it and held it close. She could smell the faint scent of Jane's shampoo and though it only reminded her of what was missing, she couldn't push it away. She wanted, needed, to feel close to her in some way. She felt tears slide down her face and she held onto the pillow tighter. All the while the same questions played repeatedly through her head. _Why didn't I let her know I was awake? Why didn't I tell her that I loved her? What if she never comes back to me?_

* * *

Angela handed Jane the keys and they didn't say anything to each other as they made their way up to Jane's apartment. They remained silent as Jane unlocked the door and they stepped inside.

"Well here we are," Angela said breaking the silence but Jane didn't respond as she looked around. This wasn't her apartment. At least, it wasn't exactly her apartment. Angela was going to say something else but decided against it and just watched as Jane took a hesitant step further. Jane picked up on the changes instantly. There was a piece of artwork that she had never seen before hanging on her wall. Some coasters were sitting on the side table beside her couch. A new rug, a plant or two, most of all there were pictures of her and that other woman sitting around. She walked up to one of them. In it she had her arms wrapped around the other woman. They were both smiling brightly and looked completely at ease in each others arms, but as Jane looked at the picture she felt nothing, nothing but the frustration of remembering nothing.

"Who is she ma?" Angela closed her eyes as her daughter's quiet voice reached her ears. She felt the stinging sensation forming behind her eyes but knew that this was a time to be strong so she opened her eyes to face her daughter's questions.

"She's your girlfriend." Jane turned around quickly and her eyes went wide at her mother's words.

"My…my what!"

"Jane…"

"I…what! My girlfriend? And you're ok with that?" Jane asked staring at her mother in complete confusion.

"The two of you were quite close. I kind of saw it coming when you told me." Jane ran a hand through her hair and turned away from her mother. She had always had some questions about what she was attracted to but she never thought that she would actually act on those other feelings, and she never ever thought that her mother would be ok with it. Everything was just so messed up and so confusing that it was giving her a headache, more so than what she already had. "Sweetie why don't you just go lay down for a while. We can talk in the morning after you've had some rest." Jane just shook her head slightly then looked back at her mother.

"Yeah. I guess so." She said then turned to head towards her bedroom. She stopped about halfway through the hallway before turning around and heading back into the living room. Angela had just sat on the couch when Jane came back in and she looked up at her and waited for her to speak. "Ma, what happened to dad?" she said softly and Angela felt a sharp pang in her heart knowing that the news would hurt her daughter who was already going through so much. Jane saw how her mother's face fell and she immediately thought the worst. She felt tears come into her eyes as she thought about it but she had to know. "Is he dead?" Angela's eyes snapped up at Jane's question and the sadness that was in her voice. She jumped up from the couch, cursing at herself for being so thoughtless, and wrapped her arms around her.

"No, sweetie. No. I'm sorry I should have known you would think something like that." She said then pulled back so that she could look into Jane's eyes. "Your father is fine."

"Then where is he?" Through Jane's eyes Angela could see the hurt, the frustration, and the pleading for answers.

"He left," She said simply. "He left to be with some young, new woman." Jane felt several different things all at once shock, anger, hurt, sadness, and all of them were fighting for dominance. She looked up at her mother who was waiting for a response and finally the sadness won and the tears began to fall faster than she could wipe them away. Angela's heart broke as she pulled Jane back into her arms and held her close.

"I…can't." Jane said through the tears and she felt her mother hold her tighter.

"You can do anything you want to do Jane Rizzoli." She said firmly and kissed Jane on the top of her head. Jane's body shook as she continued to cry and Angela felt her own tears begin to fall as she thought of how she was going to help her daughter get through the trauma. "Anything."

* * *

The ringing of the doorbell caught her off guard and she looked over at the clock to see that it was getting late. She frantically ran through the names of people who would be there and the reasons for why they would be there as she got out of bed. She turned the light on and made her way down the hall and to the front door. She wasn't prepared for the person she saw on the other side. She stared in shock and was speechless. A small form of happiness and relief flashed through her body, and the tears returned with a vengeance. The stress and hurt of everything that had happened came crashing down on her and she reached out desperately towards the person.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter: 4**

**Sorry for the wait everyone. School homework, Studying for tests at school, a project for school, having to wake up early to go to school…anyone sensing a theme here. LOL I hope you guys like the chapter….**

She was a stranger in her own home. Jane had quickly realized that fact when she had walked through the rest of her apartment taking in all the differences. In the kitchen she found a pink polka dotted apron, which she wouldn't use, and some health food that she was positively sure she would never buy much less eat. In the bathroom she discovered some make-up, a pink toothbrush, and a silky nightgown that she was sure wasn't hers. It was starting to get late and both her mind and body were exhausted by the time she finally decided to try and get some rest. She didn't even bother to try and change clothes she just crawled up in the bed, which she noticed was also new, and collapsed onto the pillows. She turned over on to her back and stared up at the ceiling. No matter how exhausted she felt she knew that the possibilities of her being able to actually fall asleep were very slim to none.

She got the feeling that someone was staring at her and she looked to the side to see a picture sitting on the table beside the bed. It was the same woman from the hospital. She was smiling brightly and her gorgeous green eyes were shining with happiness. It was the complete opposite person from who she had seen at that hospital. She felt bad for the other woman and remembered back to when her grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, and the first time she knew that her grandmother didn't know who she was. It had hurt her very badly and she cried in her room for almost an hour. If her and that woman were really as close as they seemed to be, then she couldn't imagine what she was going through. She stared at the picture. She analyzed every inch of it trying to feel something, but there was still no trace of anything that she might have felt before. She turned away from the picture and focused back on the ceiling. The anger and hurt and guilt all weighed heavily on her chest making her feel restless but she was also to mentally and physically beat that she couldn't get up. As she laid there staring up at the dullness of the ceiling one thought outshined all the others. She glanced back at the picture on the table as the question practically screamed at her. _How are you supposed to feel love for someone you don't know?_

* * *

The sounds of the people around him helped him to clear his mind a little. He focused on the voices around him and tried to push out every other thought. When Frost left the hospital he had every intention of going home but somehow he had made a detour and ended up at the Dirt Robber. The one place he wanted to be because he wanted to have a few drinks, but wanted to avoid because of all the memories the place held for him. It was getting really late and there was only him and one other person left when the bartender informed him that he would be closing soon. He then refilled his glass and gave him a sympathetic look. Frost simply nodded and took a sip from the glass. He became all too perfectly aware of the silence that had replaced the comfort of the noise. There was no stopping the memories once there was nothing else to focus on so he let them come. He wondered briefly how Maura was doing. She looked absolutely devastated when she had left the hospital but insisted that she wanted to be alone. Frost picked up his glass again and took another sip. The memories played like pieces of broken movies all put together and he couldn't help but look over his shoulder at the booth that was directly behind him. He took another sip and turned all the way around so that he was facing it. When they all came to the Dirty Robber together that was always the booth they sat in. All the memories were almost all centered around that table. He took another sip as he stared at it. He stood up and started walking over to it as one of them played through his head.

_When Jane had told them that her and Maura were going to the Dirty Robber for lunch, Frost had given them a good ten minutes before he followed. Him and Jane had been partners long enough that he could tell when something about her changed. Recently she had been smiling a lot more and way less irritable then she normally was. Just the other day he had heard her humming happily as she worked on paperwork. In all the time that he's known her he never heard her start humming, especially not while filling out paperwork. He also noticed a change in Maura too, and so he began to pay more attention to the two of them. The way they looked and smiled at each other, held eye contact longer, and stole glances at each other when they thought no one was looking. Suspicions arose. Something was up, he was completely sure of it, and as he walked through the door he decided that he was going to get some answers. Maura was sitting alone at the booth they usually used and he casually walked over._

_"Hello Detective Frost, did you decide to get some lunch as well?" She looked towards the bathrooms, and he guessed that's where Jane was, before turning back to him with a nervous smile and he couldn't help but smile back. Knowing how easy it would be because Maura couldn't lie, he decided to just come right out and ask._

_"Maura are you and Jane together?" Her eyes slightly widened but she quickly covered it up and a second or two passed before another smile spread across her face. _

_"No we're not together at the moment." She said sweetly and Frost felt a hint of embarrassment creep up and he nodded._

_"Oh…sorry," he turned around and started to walk away when it struck him…at the moment…Damn she was good. He shook his head in amusement then walked back over to the table. Maura gave him an even more nervous smile. _

_"Did you forget something?" She asked and he shook his head as he slid into the seat in front of her._

_"Hang on a moment," He said and smiled when Jane walked out of the bathroom giving him a confused look as she made her way over. _

_"Hey what's up?" She said taking the seat beside Maura. _

_"Just need to ask Maura something." He said turning his attention back to Maura. "Now Maura, are you and Jane together?" Jane's eyes went wide and she opened her mouth to speak but Frost held his hand up to silence her. _

_"Yes, she's sitting right there," Maura said flashing him another smile. Frost closed his eyes for a second before looking back at her. He should have known better than to ask the same question. _

_"Are you and Jane seeing each other?" He asked. _

_"Of course she's sitting right beside me." She flashed him a smile and Jane looked at him, daring him to continue. _

_"Are you and Jane in a relationship?" He asked. Jane just sat back with an amused smile on her face._

_"Everyone who's been introduced to another person is in a relationship of some sort, even if it's only an acquaintance." Maura stated. _

_"Are you and Jane… partners?" He asked. _

_"You're her partner." Maura replied simply. _

_"Are you and Jane in a romantic relationship with each other?" Jane looked at Maura, wondering just as much as Frost was, how she would answer. Maura glanced at Jane then looked to him with bright eyes. _

_"Did you know that the literary term for romanticism_ _refers to the artistic philosophy prevalent during the first third of the nineteenth century? It rejected the earlier philosophy of the Enlightenment, which stressed that logic and reason were the best response humans had in the face of cruelty, stupidity, superstition, and barbarism. Instead, the Romantics asserted that reliance upon emotion…."_

_"Ok, ok." Frost said putting his hands up in defeat. "Maura just give me a straight answer. Are you and Jane girlfriend and…girlfriend?"_

_"Well…I am a girl and so is Jane…and we are best friends…" Jane couldn't hold back the laughter anymore and he just rolled his eyes and got up. _

_"Fine…I'll see you both back at BPD." He turned and began to walk away but stopped when he heard Jane call out to him. He turned and looked back at the two of them. Jane had wrapped an arm around Maura and she just nodded at him and winked. _

Frost felt a smile creep up on his face as he remembered that day. He had sat down at the booth and finished the rest of his drink as he thought about it. He didn't even notice that the other guy had left. He didn't notice the bartender walk over until he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"You need me to call you a cab?" He asked with a concerned voice. Frost looked up at him and shook his head.

"No, I'm good."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, It's just been a really…really bad day, but hanks though." He handed the bartender his glass then slipped his coat on and made his way outside. He thought about how happy the two of them looked together that day. He thought about how lost Jane had looked at the hospital and how broken Maura had looked. He made a mental note to go and check on them.

**Well I hope you guys enjoyed and I'll try to update again soon. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter: 5**

Warm arms wrapped around her and Maura felt a whole new set of tears coming down her face. She clung tightly to the person holding her, absorbing all the warmth and comfort that was being offered.

"Shhh it's ok darling," the voice was soft and reassuring but nothing about the current situation was ok. Maura released her hold and stepped back to allow the person to step past her and into the house.

"What are you doing here?" Maura asked as she wiped at the tears.

"Angela called me earlier and told me what happened." Constance took her coat off and laid it over the back of the couch. "Darling," she stepped closer to Maura and reached up to tuck some hair behind her ear. "How are you?" Maura remained silent. She couldn't answer even if she wanted to because of the burning sensation that had formed in the back of her throat. She just shook her head and wrapped her arms around herself as she started crying again. "Oh darling," Constance said wrapping her arms around her again. She led Maura to the couch and sat down rocking her gently as she held her close. It was amazing how natural it felt to have Maura in her arms and she felt tears slide down her own face, both because of the emotional pain radiating from Maura, and because it was the first time since Maura was a baby that she had truly felt like her mother. "Shhh," she whispered. "It's ok. I'm here now."

It was all new to her, having her mother there to hold and comfort her and she was a bit surprised to how fast she not only welcomed it but wanted it as well. When the tears stopped she half expected Constance to pull away from her but instead she held her closer. Maura felt the small amount of energy that she still had drain from her body and she was suddenly very tired. She pulled away from her mother's arms and saw a look of worry flash through her eyes before she repositioned herself so that she was lying on the couch and her head was resting in her mother's lap. She felt like a child. She felt weak and vulnerable, emotions that she would normally only let Jane and on some occasions Angela see. But at the moment she didn't care because for the first time she needed her mother and her mother came. She felt gentle fingers begin to slowly work through her hair and massage her scalp and she closed her eyes. Constance smiled down at Maura as she continued to rub her head. Finally she felt Maura's body relax and knew that she had finally fallen asleep.

* * *

Angela walked as quietly as she could down the hallway to Jane's bedroom. She opened the door slightly and saw that Jane had finally fell asleep. She stood at the doorway for a moment debating but soon gave that up and stepped into the dark room. She was glad at that moment that Maura had decided to buy a chair to put in Jane's room.

_"Maura I have a bed. What would I do with a chair?" Jane protested even as she carried the chair to her room._

_"You could sit in it a read." Maura suggested as she took the chair from Jane._

_"Something I could do in bed." Jane crossed her arms and looked at her. Maura just smiled and continued to place the chair in the corner. _

_"It's mostly for decoration." She said turning back to Jane. _

_"No," Jane pointed to the painting Maura had given her. "That is for decoration." She pointed back to the chair, "That is to take up space." _

_"That just so happens to go perfectly with the color of your walls." Maura added and took a seat on the new chair. "And very comfortable." _

_"And completely useless." Jane murmured under her breath. _

_"I like it," Angela said stepping into the room and taking a seat on the side of the bed. Jane sighed and knew that she was fighting a losing battle. She took off her jacket and let it fall to the floor before collapsing on her bed._

_"Do you always have to take her side?" She said looking at her mother who just smiled back at her. Maura got up withought a word. She picked up the jacket and laid it across the arm of the chair. _

_"See it's making itself useful already," Maura said with a smirk. Jane just rolled her eyes and Angela laughed. _

Angela smiled at the memory as she pulled the chair up to the side of the bed where Jane was sleeping peacefully. A piece of hair had fallen over Jane's face and she carefully tucked it behind her ear. She sat back in the chair and watched as her daughter slept. The events of the day had definitely taken its toll on her but she found herself unable to sleep. She wanted to be with Jane, needed to be close to her at least for a little while, and as she sat there in the silence Angela realized how scared she was. Jane was a teenager when she decided that she was too independent to need her mother and it had taken quite a while for them to get as close as they had become over the last few years. Now that Jane couldn't remember any of those years, Angela was afraid of loosing that connection and not being able to get it back. She then thought of Maura who had become like a second daughter to her. If Maura and Jane couldn't figure out how to be together again then she would be loosing Maura as well because Maura wouldn't be able to take not being able to be with Jane after years of always being together. Even when they were just friends they couldn't stand to be away from each other. The thought of loosing both of her girls made her heart ache in a fear that only a mother could feel, and as she watched her daughter sleep she thought back to the first time she had ever felt that kind of fear.

_Eight minutes. To Frank it was only eight minutes but to Angela it was the longest eight minutes of her life. She could still feel her nerves shaking even knowing that Jane was safe in her bed. Earlier that day, Angela had decided that she wanted to take Jane to the fair. Frank protested because it was his first day off in a while and he wanted to sit at home. Jane was only five at the time and he didn't see the point of taking her if she was most likely not going to remember it in the future anyways. Angela stood her ground and eventually they went. They had only turned their backs for a second, when Angela pointed out a cute stuffed animal she wanted to get for their unborn son, but when she turned around to ask Jane what she though about it, the child wasn't there. It took eight minutes to find her safe and sound staring at some performers who were practicing their juggling. It was getting dark when they got home and after a light dinner they had put Jane to bed, and Angela tried her hardest to reassure herself that her daughter was fine but her nerves wouldn't let her relax. She looked over at her husband who was watching an old baseball game then stood to check on their daughter. _

_"She's fine Angela." He said not taking his eyes off the game. "Every kid gets lost at least once in their childhood." And then it was those words again. "It was only eight minutes." _

_She crept down the hall and went into her daughter's room. She slept peacefully as Angela walked across the room and took a seat on the side of her bed. She pulled the blankets up over her and placed a kiss on her forehead. Earlier in the week she had seen on the news that a child had been taken from a local grocery store while out shopping with his mother. The mother had sworn that she had looked away for at the most two minutes. Two minutes and the child was gone. So, eight minutes was a very big deal to Angela. _

_"I'm so sorry baby girl," she whispered as she watched her daughter sleep. Tears came to her eyes at the thought of what could've happened, of what she could have lost. She placed a hand on her swollen stomach and felt her son moving around inside of her. "How can I keep you safe with all the evil in the world?" _

Jane moved around in her sleep and brought Angela out of her thoughts. She wiped at the tear that had fallen and took a deep breath to try and calm her fears.

"So much evil in the world," she whispered quietly. Jane moved around again and Angela wondered briefly if she could sense that someone else was in the room with her. "I'm not sure how to help you baby girl," she whispered as she stood. She moved the chair back to where it belonged then went back to Jane and kissed her on the forehead. "But we'll figure it out somehow."

**Haha, after writing this chapter I just remebered that I have a lot of homework to do. Anyways, I tried to use this chapter to establish a strong bond between the two mothers and their daughters, let me know how I did. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and I hope to update again soon.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter: 6**

**Just wanted to take a moment to thank you all for the amazing reviews!**

When she first began to open her eyes the sunlight pouring in from the window hurt and she had to close them again. She realized that she was still in her living room and that she was alone. For a moment she thought that maybe all of it was a dream, but she was certain that she hadn't been the one to open the curtains to the window. She then became aware of the movements coming from the kitchen area. She put her hand up in front of her face to block out the light as she opened her eyes again and sat up. Constance was standing over the stove and the image was so foreign to Maura that she had to blink to make sure she was actually seeing it. Her eyes flicked to the kitchen table and realized that her mother must have also cleaned up, there was no newspaper sitting on the table. Maura sighed and rubbed her head. She couldn't breathe out of her nose, her eyes hurt and she briefly wondered if they were still swelled up, and she felt tired. _Too much crying_ she thought and wondered if she looked as bad as she felt.

"Good morning Darling," Constance said from the kitchen. She stepped out into the living room and brought Maura a plate of food with a steaming cup of coffee. Maura took the plate from her and Constance sat the coffee on the table and sat down at Maura's feet. Maura looked at her then back at the plate. Constance had made her an egg white omelet and had placed some sliced strawberries and a couple of grapes beside it. "How are you feeling?" Maura looked up at her and tried her best to give her a smile. She couldn't lie to her but she wanted to reassure her mother the best that she could.

"I'll be ok," she said softly. "You didn't have to do this," she said indicating the food "but thank you. I appreciate it very much." Constance nodded and smiled at her.

"I hope it's to your liking. I'm afraid that my culinary skills are a bit rusty." To reassure her Maura took a bite of the omelet.

"It's very good," She said managing to give her a brighter smile.

"I'm glad," Constance then got up and headed back to the kitchen to put the dirty dishes in the sink and wipe down the counters. A silence fell through the house until she stepped back in the living room a minute later. "Darling would you like to go check on Jane after you're finished?" Maura's eyes snapped up to her. _Yes_, she thought. With everything in her she wanted to see Jane. She wanted to see her, to hold her and tell her everything would be alright, but that was the problem. She didn't trust herself to be able to hold back if she were to go see Jane. She wouldn't be able to just stand there and not be able to hold her or to even be able to really talk to her because Jane didn't know who she was and would more than likely shut her out if she came on to strong with her. Also, Maura was sure that she looked like a mess and she didn't want Jane or Angela to see her like that. They needed her to be strong. So even though it hurt her more than anything, she shook her head no.

"Maura," Constance could see the internal conflict going on in Maura's eyes the desperation, the hurt, and the sadness. All the emotions were there fighting a battle among themselves behind her eyes. "Darling why don't…"

"Just…not today mother," Maura said in a quiet voice. "Please."

"Ok darling." Constance said knowing that she would just upset Maura if she pushed. She turned to go back to the kitchen but Maura's voice stopped her.

"Mother?" She called and Constance turned back to face her. Maura suddenly became unsure of herself and lost her voice.

"Yes darling?" Constance said after a moment of silence from her daughter.

"Would…would you…" Constance immediately caught on to what Maura wanted. She walked over to Maura and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"I won't be long." She said and pointed to the plate resting on Maura's lap. "And I do expect you to eat all of that. It will help you feel better." Maura nodded and watched as her mother put on her coat and headed out of the house.

* * *

The sun was shining and yet the apartment felt dark to her as she laid there on the couch. It was a new day and with it brought the beginning of a long battle for Jane's recovery and it revealed the truth of how hard it was going to be. She wanted to get up and start breakfast. Jane was still asleep and when she finally woke up Angela wanted Jane to see her up and doing something. She wanted Jane o see her as strong and ready to help her. She wanted to get up but her body refused. The thoughts of what was to come held her captive in her own mind and seemed to drain her energy from her. She didn't know where to start. There was so many things to address, so many people connected to Jane, that Angela just didn't know where to start in order to help her daughter. That alone grated her nerves but what got to her the most were the thoughts of the questions she knew would be coming. Questions in which the answers wouldn't just hurt Jane, but also bring up Angela's own painful memories that she had tried so hard to bury. She dreaded the questions. As selfish as it sounded, Angela didn't want to do it. She wasn't ready to deal with something like this and it scared her. In all honesty she wanted to just disappear, for just a minute or two, and scream and cry until it was all out of her system then she would be able to come back and deal with it all. She felt bad about the thoughts but she couldn't deny that they were there nor could she let her self-pity get in the way of being there for her daughter. So, with a final decision to stay strong and keep her head up, Angela swung her feet over the side of the couch and sat up. Her body was more tired than she had originally thought and it was an actual struggle to get to her feet. She had just stepped into the kitchen when a soft knocking came through the door. She hurried over and opened the door before the knocking could get louder and wake up Jane. She had to admit it was a bit of a shock to see Constance Isles standing behind the door and holding a large bag in her hand.

"Hello Angela," she said softly. "I hope I didn't disturb you."

"No, not at all." Angela replied and stepped aside "please, come in." Constance nodded and stepped in the apartment and waited for Angela to close the door and turn to look at her. She smiled and held the bag out to her.

"I thought that I would bring you and Jane some breakfast. I figured that you wouldn't have gotten much sleep last night and that you'd be tired." Angela tried to hide the surprise on her face as much as she could as she reached out and took the bag from the other woman.

"Thank you. That was very thoughtful of you." She said and gave her the best smile she could manage. "Can I get you anything to drink?" She placed the bag on the kitchen counter and turned back to face Constance. "I was just about to make some coffee."

"That would be lovely," she took a seat at the counter. The tired look on Angela's face made her want to tell her to sit down and that she'd make the coffee but she could tell that Angela was determined to do it herself. She observed the other woman carefully as she busied herself with the coffee. Her hands shook slightly and Constance recognized the same look in her eyes that she had seen in Maura's. "How is Jane doing?" She asked to fill the mildly uncomfortable silence that had settled in the room.

"She's still asleep." Angela replied.

"Maura is worried." Angela pressed the start button on the coffee machine then turned to Constance with her complete attention.

"How's Maura holding up? The poor thing looked miserable when we left yesterday."

"She's having a hard time trying to figure out how to process everything, but I suspect that she'll be alright." Constance said.

"It's hard," Angela broke eye contact and looked down at her feet. Constance looked at her with sympathy in her eyes and decided that it was now or never. She stood and made her way over to the other woman.

"And how are you Angela?" She looked up at Constance and shrugged slightly.

"I'm fine." She said softly then looked back at her feet.

"No you're not." Constance stated and hoped that Angela would be willing to open up to her.

"You're right," Angela met her eyes again and gave a sad chuckle "I'm not ok but my baby is hurt. She needs me to be strong and that's what I'm going to be for her." She said with a confident nod. Constance admired the strength in the woman. She could clearly see that, if need be, Angela Rizzoli would walk through fire for her children. On the other hand she also knew that everyone needed a helping hand sometimes and that this was defiantly a situation Angela couldn't deal with on her own. Not when the hurt in her eyes was so clear.

"Angela," she said carefully "I know that we haven't exactly bonded and we don't know each other very well but…I won't judge you." She said and held Angela's eyes with her own "You are obviously a wonderful mother and a very strong woman but…you don't have to be strong with me, not now." A moment of silence passed between the two of them as Angela took in her words. Those words had hit her hard and she could tell by the look in her eyes that Constance meant every word of it. She felt tears gather behind her eyes and suddenly she was crying. Constance wrapped her arms around her and allowed the woman to let out all her emotions and offer her as much comfort as she could. When the crying subsided they didn't say anything to each other but both of them were aware that they had found a strong friendship in one another. Angela turned towards the kitchen sink and splashed water on her face. Constance handed her a hand towel and Angela shot her a grateful look before using it to wipe the water off. She put the towel down on the counter and took a deep breath. She then reached up into the cabinet and took out two coffee cups. Constance watched her as she poured the two cups of coffee. Angela's hands no longer shook and she stood with more confidence.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter: 7**

After a lot of discussion the two mothers came up with an idea that both women felt confident with. Constance walked up to Maura's house with determination in her steps. Maura was still sitting on the couch when she walked through the door.

"Mother, how's Jane…" Constance went over to the couch and tore the blanket away from Maura's body.

"She was still asleep when I arrived," she said taking Maura's hand and pulling her up off the couch. "Angela told me she took a while to fall asleep but other than that she was relatively ok considering the circumstances." She led Maura down the hallway and stopped at the bathroom door. "Now hurry up and get yourself ready we are to meet Angela at the Dirty Robber in an hour."

"What?" Maura stared wide-eyed at her mother. "Why are we…"

"Please darling, Angela and I have a plan now you must hurry. I want to be there to greet everyone."

"Everyone? How many people…"

"Maura please hurry I'll explain on the way." Constance said walking away from the door and towards the guest room where she was staying.

* * *

Maura hurried to wash up but when she was finished she couldn't bring herself to step out of the shower. The water was warm but not warm enough. She reached behind her and turned the heat up. The water poured down on her heating her skin almost to where it hurt, but not quite, and she stood there under the spray taking it all in. She felt her muscles relax and she closed her eyes and for a moment everything cleared away and the only thing left was her and the water. She didn't want to step out. In the secluded shower it was warm and comforting and out there it was cold, cruel, and full of heartache. She wanted to stay in her own little world for a little longer but then she thought of Jane. Jane was the person she ran to when she needed strength. When she was hurt and needed comfort she would always go to Jane. No matter what had happened Jane was always there for her. Now, she would be there for Jane because she wasn't ready to let go of her yet. Maura turned around and turned the water off then took a deep breath and stepped out of the water. There was no more time for procrastinating. She dried off and pulled on her robe then made her way to her bedroom. It still held an empty atmosphere that she hated and she quickly went to get dressed. She froze for a moment in front of her closet and stared at the clothes that didn't belong to her. Her eyes then zoned in on a pair of red sox jerseys that were hanging together behind all the rest of the clothes. She reached out and pulled out the one that held her name on the back and felt the tears swelling up again as she traced her fingers along the letters.

_"Maura!" the excitement in Jane's voice made Maura smile as she made her way from her bedroom towards the living room. "I brought pizza." Jane said putting the box down on the kitchen table and rushing to turn the TV on. It was game night and Jane was wearing her jersey and a pair of faded blue jeans and her wild curls fell loosely around her face and shoulders. Maura loved seeing Jane like that. She looked so relaxed and laid back, Maura was so happy when Jane agreed to come over to her place to watch the games on their days off. Joe Friday ran up to her feet and began to wag her tail and move around excitedly. Maura smiled down at her then leaned down to scratch her behind the ears. _

_"She's been so excited to she her other mommy haven't you," Jane said taking Joe Friday up in her arms and petting her. Maura's smile brightened at Jane's comment and she scratched Joe Friday under her chin. _

_"Well I've missed you too," she said to the dog sweetly. Jane put her down and she immediately went over to Bass and began sniffing around his shell. Jane laughed and pointed over at the two of them. _

_"She's also missed her little turtle friend." _

_"Tortoise." Maura corrected and turned to get plates from the cabinet. Jane stood back and leaned against the counter. She waited for Maura to get over to the table and notice the second box sitting beside the pizza. "Oh, what's this?" Maura turned to Jane who just smiled and shrugged at her friend. Maura put the plates down and reached for the box. She glanced back at Jane again who just stood there with a smile then slowly she opened it up. "Jane!" She squealed with delight as she took the jersey from the box. "Oh I love it!" Jane's smile brightened up as she took a step forward and took the jersey in her own hands. _

_"Look, it's the best part." She turned it around for Maura to see Isles written on the back. _

_"Oh, Thank you! Thank you!" Maura said wrapping Jane up in a tight hug. Jane chuckled as she handed the jersey back and Maura raced down the hall to her bedroom to put it on. _

"Maura," her mother's voice snapped her from the memory and she put the jersey back in the closet and grabbed out a dark blue dress instead. "Maura darling are you ready?" she called from behind the door.

"Almost," Maura called back and rushed to get dressed. She decided against a pair of heels and pulled on a pair of dark blue flats instead. She hurried to her bedroom door and took another deep breath before stepping out join her mother.

* * *

Frost was the first to arrive at the Dirty Robber. The phone call from Angela had surprised him but when she said that they were all getting together he got there as quickly as he could. It was relatively empty and he was thankful for the privacy they would have. There was a different bartender standing at the counter and he gave a short wave as he walked past and took a seat at the usual booth. As he sat there waiting for everyone to arrive he thought back to the first time he had met Jane.

_People greeted him as he entered the station and made his way to his desk. Almost the entire building was alive with the anticipation of his new partner's arrival. He had felt it even as he was walking up the steps to the building. Though he had been given her address, Frost hadn't met her yet because he didn't want to disturb her while she was recovering. He was excited to finally meet her but in all honesty he was nervous as well. He had spent an extra ten minutes getting ready and thinking of what to say so that he wouldn't make a fool out of himself. He had transferred a couple of days earlier and since then there were a lot of people who had taken it upon themselves to warn him about his new partner's attitude and what had happened to her and that he should be careful around her. That didn't really help to ease his nervousness and only made him more concerned about making a good first impression. He was typing on his computer when he felt a change in the room. He didn't even have to turn around to know that she had just walked in. The room had gone completely silent and all eyes were focused behind him. He stood from his computer and turned to face the door. If all the eyes that were aimed her way bothered her, he couldn't tell from the way she entered the room and walked directly up to him. _

_"Detective Frost?" She said and he was rendered speechless for a moment as he took her in. She was beautiful and the strength and determination he saw in her dark eyes only added to it as they focused on him. _

_"Uh, yes ma'am." He said and on instinct he held his hand out to her. "Very pleased to meet you." He then realized what he had done and snapped his hand away and rubbed the back of his neck. "I um…I'm sorry Detective Rizzoli. I don't know what I was thinking. I…" _

_"Ok." She said shaking her head at him. "Relax." She said and he took a deep breath. _

_"I really am so…"_

_"Please don't keep apologizing," She said cutting him off again. "No harm done and it's nice to meet you to." She said and glanced towards her desk that was covered with cards, stuffed animals, and flowers. She groaned slightly and began to move towards it. When she walked past him Frost shook his head at his stupidity. "Oh," she said turning back to him and he looked up at her. "And never call me ma'am again call me Jane." She said with what he would have sworn was a smile. _

"You almost lost your lunch in front of her that day." Korsak's voice pulled him out of his memory and he looked up as the other man took a seat in front of him.

"How'd you know what I was thinking?" Frost asked.

"I was thinking about the same thing all last night." Korsak replied running a hand through his hair. To Frost Korsak looked older than he had ever looked before. "You think she knew you had a crush on her those first two weeks?" He said with a smirk.

"No I didn't" Frost responded a little to fast and felt his face growing hot.

"Yeah. Right." Korsak said laughing at him.

"It'll be alright. Right?" He said and Korsak looked up at him and after a moment he gave a reassuring smile.

"Yeah. It'll be alright."

"Oh good." Constance voice cut through the air and both Korsak and Frost turned around to see her and Maura come towards them. "You're all here." She said then grabbed two chairs from a near by table and brought them up to the end of the table. "Jane and Angela can sit here. It'll help Jane not feel so crowded and uncomfortable." Constance explained and took a seat beside Korsak while Maura took a seat beside Frost.

"So what exactly are we doing here?" Frost asked looking to Constance.

"We're here to make sure Jane knows we will provide her with support and to answer any questions she may have, and there is bound to be a lot of them." Frost looked over and met Korsak's eyes then glanced over to Maura as well, all of them knowing where the other's mind just went. There were many things they didn't particularly want to explain. Constance picked up on the vibe and cleared her throat to get their attention again. "Now I know enough that I know this will be hard for you all but I must ask that you answer each question truthfully." She said and the others nodded.

"How are you Maura?" Korsak asked after a moment of silence.

"Hanging on," she said. The sound of the door opening a little later immediately caught everyone's attention as Angela came in the room with Jane walking hesitantly behind her.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter: 8**

Jane felt all eyes on her as soon as she walked through the door. The muscles in her legs were begging her to turn away and run. She probably would have if her mother hadn't turned around and gently but firmly took her hand and led her over to the booth. Angela took a seat in one of the chairs at the end of the booth and looked up at Jane. She stood there for a moment taking in the nervous looks on everyone's face and searched her memory to see if seeing them had triggered anything, but there was nothing new. Angela reached for her hand again but Jane didn't take it this time. She slowly lowered herself in the chair and listened patiently as Constance explained why they were all there.

"So why not just go ahead and get started?" Constance said giving Jane a reassuring smile. "Ask anything you would like." Jane examined them all for a moment longer before trying to speak.

"Who are you?" Jane asked Constance slowly and watched the other woman closely for signs that she was hurt by the fact that she couldn't remember. Constance only offered a smile and slight nod before answering.

"My name is Constance Isles, I am Maura's mother." She said simply and glanced briefly at Maura before looking back to Jane. "I heard about what happened and came down to support Maura and try to help you and your family get through this." Jane nodded at the new information and turned her attention to Frost.

"And you?" She noticed him take a deep breath and sadness briefly flashed across his face before he covered it up.

"Barry Frost, I'm your current partner." Her eyes widened and shot over to where Korsak sat for a moment before settling back on Frost. His eyes briefly shifted down to her hands, that where lying on the table, before shooting back up to meet her eyes. She moved her hands from the table and into her lap. She let her own gaze drift down to them for a moment and take in the matching scars. When she looked back up she noticed that everyone looked a bit more agitated than they did before. _They're expecting me to ask about them, _she observed and it only gave her more proof that it wasn't a very happy story.

"Jane, may I ask you a question?" Jane turned her full attention to Constance and nodded. "What is the last thing you remember?"

_"You sure you're ready for this Rizzoli?" Cavanaugh said as they walked through the room full of people. She could feel the eyes following her around the room and kept her eyes focused in front of her as she walked beside him. _

_"Yes sir." She said still keeping her eyes to the front. "More than ready." _

_"Ok then," they stopped at what was to be her new desk and Cavanaugh turned towards an older looking man and motioned for him to come over. "Korsak, come meet your new partner." The older man stood and made his way over to them. "You two try to talk and get to know each other before you get called away." He said raising his eyebrows at Korsak who looked like he was trying very hard not to roll his eyes. The other man nodded and Cavanaugh glanced at her for a moment before leaving the two of them alone. Jane felt awkward as she turned towards the man and waited for him to say something but he remained silent. He looked her up and down then his eyes focused in on hers as if he could see everything she had ever done. It was like he was searching for something inside of her. His gaze was intense but she was determined not to show him that he was getting to her and just stared straight back at him. After a moment of two it just got plain annoying. _

_"Are you going to say something or not?" She snapped and regretted it for a small instant when he raised his eyebrows at her and seemed like he might take offense to it. She was relieved when the corners off his mouth rose in a small smile and he extended his hand out to her. _

_"Vince Korsak. It's nice to finally meet you Detective Rizzoli." He said emphasizing the word Detective. She smiled brightly at him and took his hand. _

_"Nice to meet you too." _

_She only had an hour at home before she had to go to her parent's house for dinner. It was her mother's way of saying congratulations for about the hundredth time and as a way to once again tell her how much she hated her career choice, and Jane couldn't help but laugh at how her mother flipped back and forth between the two. She took a quick shower and quickly got dressed before hurrying out the door because she knew her mother expected her to get there early. _

"That's the last thing before it starts to get fussy," Jane said to them "just going out the door."

"You don't remember the rest of that night?" Angela spoke up and Jane turned to look at her. She stared into her mother's eyes for a moment, reaching as far as she could into her memory, and then shook her head.

"No…no there's not much of anything else. I can't see like…broken fragments of leaving the building and getting in the car…but I don't remember actually going to your house that night," She explained and Angela nodded. A silence fell over the table and Jane couldn't help that her eyes gradually drifted over to the one person she was somewhat trying to avoid. _Maura, _she reminded herself. Her mother had said that her name was Maura and that they were together. She was still trying to get her head around that and as she looked into the other woman's eyes it was even harder to except. She felt practically nothing when she looked at her. Jane only felt guilt at not being able to remember her. When her eyes fell on the other woman she saw that her muscles tensed up, and though she hid it well, Jane could tell that Maura was uncomfortable. Jane felt no feeling towards this woman that would suggest that she had ever had any feelings for her but as Jane looked into her eyes she could see that for her it was completely different. It was as if Maura's eyes were calling out to her, begging to be acknowledged, she could see the hurt and stress that she was under and couldn't take it. She quickly looked away from Maura and focused on Korsak. "Why aren't we partners anymore?" She asked, and the tension that had been lingering in the atmosphere around them got a whole lot heavier as all eyes turned towards him. He closed his eyes for a moment then opened them and focused all his attention on her as if they were the only ones sitting there.

"We had this case together," he started and took a moment to clear his throat before continuing on. "Some lunatic was targeting couples, he would slit the man's throat and the wife would be missing until we would find her body somewhere. Trust me we pulled a lot of hours for that case. It was really tough on the both of us." He paused again and looked like he was collecting his thoughts. Jane noticed that the other people around her, including her mother, was very uncomfortable with what Korsak was saying. "Well one day you got a lead and decided to check it out…"

_Korsak dialed her number again as he sped down the road towards the location he had been given. Anger and fear flowed through him as the phone continued to ring and once again it went to the voice mail._

_"Rizzoli answer your damn phone!" he said ending the call and throwing his phone on the passenger seat. Something wasn't right. He could feel it deep inside his gut. He pushed the limit to how fast he could go until he was finally pulling into the driveway of the location. Korsak had barely parked the car before he jumped out. He went over to Jane's car, and though he was expecting it, he cursed to himself when he saw that it was empty. His fingers found their way to his gun as he made his way up to the house. There was an eerie silence that surrounded the place as he stepped through the door. Korsak was just walking towards the kitchen area when he heard it, a loud scream full of pain cut through the silence and sent his heart into his stomach. The adrenaline rushed through his system as he bolted out the door and another, more weakened scream, filled the air. The basement door seemed to jump out at him and before he even knew what he was doing he had burst through the door. It felt as if the adrenaline alone was controlling him as he fired his gun. It was, as the man was falling, that every detail hit him all at once. The woman they had been searching for was lying on a mattress, there was a man lying on the floor, and the smell of blood and mold filled his nostrils and made him want to gag. Those all fell out of importance when he saw his partner. The person who he was suppose to always look after, the person who's life was so deeply connected with his own that they trusted each other with their lives ever day, was lying on the floor with scalpels through her hands. It almost felt like a nightmare as he rushed to her side, yanking off his jacket, and fell to the floor beside her. He kept expecting to wake up sweating in his bed, but the shaking body beside of him told him that the situation was very real. His partner was hurt, he wasn't there and she got hurt, and she was going into shock. The cut on her neck wasn't deep so he covered her body with his jacket and told her that everything was going to be ok. _

_"It hurts," She cried out and it broke his heart. _

_"I know Jane just hold on ok. Help will be here soon." He felt his own hands shaking as he looked over to see the other man making slight movements. He looked into Jane's eyes, which were unfocused, and she was shaking very badly. "Jane," he said calmly "I need to go restrain him."_

_"Don't leave!" She begged and he put a hand on the side of her face to both calm her and get her to focus on him. _

_"I will not leave you Rizzoli. I'm just going to go make sure he can't do anything and then I'm coming right back ok." She nodded as much as she could and he quickly made his way over to the man lying on the ground. He wanted to kill him, especially when he saw the sick smile on the man's face, and even more when the man opened his mouth to speak. _

_"She's mine now," his voice was laced with actual joy and Korsak wanted to kill him, but he had more important things that required his attention at that moment. He quickly put the handcuffs on and made his way back to Jane. He stayed by her side until the medical team took her to the hospital. Then he stood there alone, police officers and other people rushed around him, and he stood there as if in a trance and just wished that he would wake up. _

The memory hit him hard as he spoke, and though the entire thing was playing through his head he tried to keep it as basic as he could. He felt that it was best for everyone. When he finished everyone's eyes were on Jane. The story had hit her hard as well, but she could tell that Korsak had held back on a lot of it, and she looked into the faces of the people who where suppose to be her friends. They looked at her with sympathy and hurt in their eyes and suddenly she couldn't stay there anymore. She felt the palms of her hands get sweaty and she was feeling warmer than before. She slowly became aware of a stinging sensation in her hands and as if on instinct she began to rub them, and everyone's eyes went to her hands. She wanted out.

"Jane," her mother said placing a hand on her shoulder.

"I want to go home," was all she said as she got to her feet. Angela nodded and together they left.

"She barely looked at me." Maura said when she could no longer see Jane. "She didn't talk to me."

"Give it time darling," Constance said giving Maura's hand a reassuring squeeze.

* * *

Jane finally got to her room after a good ten minutes of her mother asking her if she needed something, or if she wanted something done, or if she wanted her to tell the others something for her. She needed to get away. She appreciated what her mother was trying to do but she needed to be alone. She couldn't stop thinking about Korsak's story and of the looks everyone gave her when he was finished. Jane fell into the softness of her bed and lifted her hands so that she could look at the scars. _I caused them pain _she thought to herself as she thought about those looks they gave her and of the other scars she had. She took a breath and lowered her hands and then she reached for the laptop sitting on her night table.

**Wow I got a bit carried away with this chapter...Oops. I think it's the longest one I've ever written. Hope you guys liked it!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter: 9**

Angela walked into the bedroom as quietly as she could. She reached for the laptop that was sitting beside Jane on the bed and curiosity wouldn't allow her to put it down without taking a look at what Jane had been looking at. At the headline she read on the screen Angela felt her breath hitch. _Homicide Detective Shoots Herself_.

"Oh Jane," she whispered softly as she placed the laptop on the night table. She could see that it was starting. Jane was starting to isolate herself, and Angela would be damned if she would just sit back and allow her to do so. She touched Jane's shoulder and shook her gently. "Jane," she called out softly. "Sweetie it's time to get up." Jane ignored her and just pulled the blankets tighter around herself. "Jane you need to get up." Angela said a bit more forcefully. She pulled at the blankets but Jane just pulled back.

"Go away," Jane mumbled, still half asleep, and rolled over.

"Jane we're going to be late if you don't get up." Angela said and at that Jane turned back around and stared up at her mother.

"Late for what?"

"We're…going out for breakfast." Angela replied and used the opportunity to pull the blankets away from a distracted Jane. She gave Angela a glare but didn't try to get the blanket back.

"Going out where?" Jane asked a bit afraid of the answer. Angela sighed and stood up straighter.

"We're going to Maura's." She said and Jane immediately began shaking her head. "Jane please…"

"No." Jane said firmly. "The answer is no."

"Jane," Angela said in a softer voice and took a seat beside Jane on the bed. "I know that it's all a bit scary and confusing but please give it a chance. I know you've seen how hurt she is." Jane didn't respond but looked down towards her bed. Angela took it as a sign of defeat and stood up from the bed with a nod. "Now stop acting like a child and get up and get dressed." She said as she left the room.

* * *

To say that Maura had freaked out would've been an understatement. When Constance informed her of what her and Angela had planned she almost started hyperventilating. She immediately got up and made sure she looked presentable. She then became briefly obsessed with making sure her already clean house was cleaner, and went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. She started chopping up some vegetables and got out the eggs and collected different types of cookware and started doing a couple of other things so fast Constance could barely keep up.

"Do you think Jane will want omelets?"

"Maura darling…"

"Right I should also make something else…toast…and fruit. Do you think Jane would want Strawberries or orange slices? How about some grapes?" Maura said quickly.

"Maura I…"

"Right I'll cut up some of each." She said and frantically gathered up everything she would need. "Should I hide the pictures of us together? It might make her feel uncomfortable if she sees them. Do you think…"

"Maura! Darling, please take a breath." Constance said going up to her and placing a hand on her shoulder. "It's going to be just fine." She said and Maura nodded and took a deep breath. "Good, now what can I do to help?" Constance asked with a reassuring smile.

"Nothing." Maura replied after taking a moment to breathe. "I can handle this. I'm just going to start some coffee." She said then turned to the cabinet. She froze when she saw the container of instant coffee sitting there.

_Maur followed behind Jane, who was still half asleep, into the kitchen. She moved past her and reached for the cabinet door to start preparing some coffee. Jane caught her hand and pushed it gently away and reached into the cabinet beside that one. She brought out a container of instant coffee and Maura couldn't help but roll her eyes. _

_"I thought I got rid of that." Maura said pointing at the container. _

_"Bought more," Jane replied and started lazily trying to get the lid off. _

_"Then why didn't you bring it to your place?" Maura asked as she quickly swiped the container away from her friend. _

_"Because then I wouldn't have it over here when I really need a cup. Fast." She said holding out her hand but Maura just raised her eyebrows almost daring Jane. _

_"C'mon Maur give it back," she said giving Maura a serious look to let her know that she wasn't playing. _

_"No, you can't drink this when there is so much better coffee in the cabinet." Maura said matter of factly. _

_"I said I wanted a cup fast not by lunch time." Jane shot back at her. _

_"My house." Maura said. _

_"My body." Jane replied. "Give it." Maura sighed but surrendered and handed the container back. _

_"You're so impatient." She mumbled as she reached into the cabinet to get her own coffee. "Like a child." _

_"Oh don't look so glum Doc." Jane said with a new hint of amusement in her voice. "I'll drink some of that too when it's ready. Sometime later today." She said with a wink and a smile that Maura didn't see to often first thing in the morning and she found herself smiling as well._

_Jane_. She suddenly couldn't hold it in anymore as the tears started falling.

"Maura!" Constance pulled her into her arms and began to rub small circles on her back. "Darling talk to me." She said softly and Maura pulled away from her and frantically began to wipe her eyes.

"Everything is wrong!" She said through her tears. "I'm surrounded by her! Everything about this place reminds me of her and it hurts!" She had to stop to breathe and Constance didn't speak but felt tears come into her own eyes as well. "It hurts because it's just a reminder that something is missing. A part of me is missing and I might not ever get it back, and I have all these memories and they just won't stop reminding me of the life that I've lost!" Maura brought her hand to her forehead to hide her face from her mother as she sobbed. She felt so exposed and vulnerable but it felt so good to get it out. Constance wiped the tears out of her own eyes then stepped forward and gently wrapped her arms around Maura again.

"I know it's hard Maura." She said softly. "But you must not give up on this. You haven't lost yet Maura. It's going to be hard, probably harder than anything you've ever done, but I know that you're strong enough." She pulled back a bit so that she could wipe the tears out of her daughter's eyes. "I can see in your eyes how strong you are even if you don't feel it." She said giving Maura another reassuring smile. Maura nodded and stepped out of her mother's arms so that she could fully compose herself. She took a deep breath and looked at her mother. She was never really around much when she was a child, but that suddenly mattered a whole lot less as Maura looked into the older woman's eyes. She was so incredibly thankful to have her mother with her at that moment and she suddenly felt stronger as she wiped the last of the tears from her eyes. "Feel better?" Constance knew how much Maura needed to let that all out. Maura gave her mother a small smile of her own and nodded that she was ok again. "Good because you've got a lot to do." Maura looked around the kitchen at the things she had gathered. She took another deep breath then looked back at her mother and for the first time since she could remember, Maura asked her mother for help.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter: 10**

Jane stared out the window as her mother drove to the woman's house. _Maura _she reminded herself again. She took a deep breath and wiped her sweaty hands on her pants. Her hands where shaking. In fact, every nerve in her body seemed to be jumping up and down. The last time she remembered ever being that nervous was when she was taking her detective's exam. It was nerve racking that a woman Jane didn't even know could get to her so much. The woman was a stranger to her but that was the problem. While Maura might be a stranger to Jane, Jane was not a stranger to Maura. There was an entire life that Maura knew about and Jane had no clue of whatsoever. Of course it was like that with everyone else as well but with Maura it was different. Jane was never good at admitting her feelings or at letting people be close to her and apparently with Maura they had been very close for a very long time. It was scary, for lack of a better word, that someone had this complete knowledge about her life that she didn't even know herself.

She thought about what she already knew about the other woman. She knew that the woman was obviously very wealthy, she knew that she was something of a genius, and that they were best friends for a long time before becoming a couple. _How the Hell? _was all Jane could ask herself when she thought about her own life. She had always been a tomboy, got decent grades but nothing spectacular, she wasn't wealthy, and admittedly not very well dressed, and there was nothing proper about her. _How the Hell_?

"It'll be fine." Angela's voice broke the silence and pulled her out of her thoughts. She noticed that Jane had begun to unconsciously rub her hands. It was something she had always done when she was nervous withought realizing it.

"Hmm." Jane looked over at her mother who was staring at the road ahead of her.

"It's going to be ok," Angela shot Jane a reassuring smile then turned her eyes back to the road.

* * *

When there was a knock on the door Maura spun around and stared. She made no movement to go answer it but instead just stood there staring at it. Another knock came and Constance quickly stepped past her to go answer it.

"Good morning Angela," She said and gave her a quick hug. She stepped aside and allowed her to step in. She turned around and no one said anything as Jane took a couple of reluctant steps forward. "Good morning Jane." Constance said brightly, trying to help Jane feel more welcome, and gave her the warmest smile she could manage.

"Good morning Mrs. Isles," Jane said making it all the way into the house. Constance shut the door behind her and turned to Jane with another smile.

"Please, call me Constance." She said and Jane just nodded at her. An uncomfortable silence fell throughout the house when Jane and Maura met each other's gaze then quickly looked away from each other. Constance looked to Angela, it was then or never, and Angela gave her a slight nod. "Angela," she spoke up and all eyes turned to her. "While I have you here I would really like to ask your opinion about the changes to the guest house we discussed before." Jane's eyes widened a bit and shot over to her mother.

"Well I guess it couldn't hurt to step out for just a moment," Angela said, ignoring the pleading look Jane was directing at her, something had to be done to get the girls to talk to each other.

"Ok then," Constance also had to ignore the looks from Maura as she took Angela's arm and they walked outside together.

"We'll be back in a bit girls," Angela called out before they shut the door behind them, leaving Jane and Maura alone and looking terrified at the door.

They stood there for a moment staring at each other. Neither of them knew what to say in order to break down the barrier between them. It was Maura who could even muster up the courage to move first. She couldn't take Jane's eyes staring at her any longer. They were so distant and they held no love in them like the Jane she remembered. She went into the kitchen and walked over to the cabinet.

"Would you like some coffee?" Maura asked finally finding her voice.

"Uh…no thanks." Maura felt bad but was relieved when Jane's voice sounded as timid as hers did.

Jane felt heat rise up in her face when she realized that she had been staring at the other woman. Needing a distraction herself, she began to move slowly through the room. She took in the pieces of art, kind of similar to what she had in her apartment, and wondered where they came from.

Maura turned around from the counter and watched as Jane made her way slowly towards the pictures. She wondered again if she should have taken them down.

Jane let her eyes wander over the pictures. There was one of her by herself and one of Maura by herself. There were also separate pictures of both Constance and Angela, but most of the pictures were of her and Maura together. It gave her a strange feeling to see herself in all those pictures and not know the history behind them. After scanning over all of them her eyes settled on one. It was of her and Maura walking along a beach, their backs turned away from the camera, with the sunset as the background. Their hands were entwined and even though Jane couldn't see the their faces, she knew that there would be smiles like in all the others. She glanced back at Maura, who instantly looked away and was embarrassed for being caught staring, then she looked back at the picture. "When was this?" She asked quietly. She wanted to break the awkward silence that had formed between them and she was also curious.

Maura lost her voice as the memory of that night came back to her. She took a deep breath and cleared her throat before she was able to respond.

_The sun was beginning to go down when Jane said she wanted to go for a walk. They had finally gone on a vacation together with Angela. For the most part Jane and Maura stayed around the hotel room while Angela went out. They enjoyed being able to spend the day together without any disturbances, but Maura was starting to get a little bored. She found it funny that it was only a moment after the thought entered her head that Jane suggested they go for a walk on the beach. _

_The wind was blowing gently and the smell of the ocean air was relaxing as they walked barefoot in the sand. It was beginning to cool because the sun was going down but it was still warm out. Maura reached down and gently held Jane's hand in her own as they watched the changing skies before them. Jane stopped suddenly when she heard the clicking of a camera and looked back to where Angela was walking behind them. _

_"Ma, would you mind…"_

_"Not at all," Angela said with a smile. "You two don't stay out too late," she said with a wink before turning around and heading back to the hotel. Maura smiled up at Jane and they began to walk slowly again. They moved to where the water came up past their feet and continued walking until the sun was almost completely down. _

_"This is nice," Maura whispered and moved closer to her, still new, girlfriend. _

_"We have to go back in two days," Maura thought that she heard a bit of sadness in Jane's voice. _

_"Guess we should make the best of them then," Maura said and her eyes held a twinkle in them as she looked up at Jane again. Jane looked down at her and Maura could see the mischievousness creeping around in her eyes. Suddenly, before Maura knew what was happening, Jane scooped her up in her arms and dashed out further into the water. "Jane!" Maura squealed before Jane threw her into the water. It was only deep enough to come up a little past her waist and Jane stood there laughing until Maura came up out of the water and got to her feet. She stopped laughing when Maura was silent. She was dripping wet in her blue sundress and her face gave away no emotion. _

_"Maur…" Jane said carefully. "Maura I'm sorry I was just…"She stopped instantly when Maura held her hand up to silence her. _

_"You." She glared at Jane and pointed a finger at her. Jane felt her heart skip a beat and tried to measure just how upset Maura was. "Are going to pay for that." Like a switch had been flipped Maura's expression turned playful and before Jane could catch up Maura tackled her into the water as well, taking them both down. _

_"Maura…"Jane coughed as she got to her feet. Maura was laughing hysterically beside her. She didn't even finish her sentence but instead splashed Maura with the cool water and that started a full out war of non-stop splashing. They both decided to call a truce when they were both laughing so hard they couldn't breathe. As she began to calm down Jane felt her body shiver slightly and realized how chilly it had gotten. She looked over at Maura and noticed her shivering too. "Alright," She said taking Maura's hand. "Time to get out." When they were back in the sand Maura stopped and looked at Jane. She tilted her head as if she was thinking about something and Jane turned around and looked at her. "What?" _

_"I was just thinking," Maura stepped closer to Jane and looked down at the black tank top she was wearing. "How much more fun this would've been if you were wearing the white one." She said with a wink. Jane just rolled her eyes and they made their way back to the hotel._

_By the time they reached their room they where both shaking. Angela had already fallen asleep and for that Jane was thankful. They took off their clothes as they walked into the room and stopped to throw them in the bathtub. They got out their pajamas and quickly got dressed then crawled into bed. Jane held her arms open and Maura moved into her embrace. Warmth surrounded her and she immediately felt sleepy. _

_"Jane," Maura said softly after a moment._

_"Yes Maura," Jane's sleepy voice whispered back. _

_"Will you always be here to hold me?" She whispered and unconsciously held her breath for the answer. _

_"Always." Jane replied almost instantly. Maura smiled and completely relaxed in Jane's arms. She snuggled closer to her and felt Jane's arms hold her closer. It only took a few moments for them both to fall asleep. _

Maura got through the basic version of the story. She told Jane about going for a walk, holding hands and watching the sunset. She had left everything else, the best part in her opinion, out because she didn't want to make Jane uncomfortable. She turned around as Jane's voice floated through the air after a moment of silence.

"Sounds nice," She said quietly. Maura felt her eyes burning with tears and nodded to herself.

"It was."

**I hope you guys enjoyed this Chapter. I', sorry I haven't really updated any of my stories this weekend but I was out of town with family and didn't have a computer with me, but I'm going on Thanksgiving break in a couple of days! Oh, and as always thank you all for reading and for the amazing reviews!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter: 11**

About the same time that Angela and Constance were coming back to the house, a small dog came out and began to bark happily. It ran over to where Jane stood and circled excitedly around her legs tail wagging and begging to be picked up. Jane took a step back and almost stepped on the dog but managed to avoid it. She looked from the dog up to Maura who gave her a smile and came into the room. The dog didn't come to her when she called so Maura had to go over and pick her up. She petted the top of her head and tried to calm her down but she still moved excitedly around in her arms and looked at Jane.

"Sorry about that," Maura said struggling to hold on to Joe Friday. "She's certainly missed you."

"She's mine?" Jane asked taking a step closer to Maura and the little dog in her arms. She reached out and Joe Friday immediately rubbed her head against her hand. "I guess that'll explain the food bowls." She mumbled as she ran her hand along the dog's furry head.

"Joe Friday," Maura said.

"Hey there little guy," She cooed to the dog and Maura shook her head.

"She's a girl." Maura said and Jane gave her a questioning look.

"Joe?" Maura just shrugged and Jane turned her attention back to Joe Friday. A moment later a thumping sound coming from the hallway caught Jane's attention. Her eyes went wide at what she saw and she looked back at Maura with shock written across her face. "A turtle?" Maura smiled but felt a pang of sadness rush through her at something she was so used to hearing from Jane.

From the doorway Angela and Constance watched the two of them and were glad that at least for a while it seemed that the tension between them was broken. They stepped further into the house and Constance shut the door behind them.

"You girls ready to eat?" Angela said as she made her way into the kitchen. Joe Friday jumped from Maura's arms and ran to the kitchen. Maura smiled and turned to Jane. For a moment their eyes locked together. Maura was the first to turn away and she motioned for Jane to make her way to the kitchen.

"Tortoise." She whispered quietly when Jane was out of the room.

"No darling you cooked all morning just go sit down and we'll make the plates." Constance said when Maura walked in and picked up a plate. She was about to protest but knew that it would be no use so she took a seat at the table. Jane stood there for a moment longer but after a look from Angela she took a seat as well, diagonally from Maura, so that there was some space between the two of them. When Angela and Constance came in with the plates they didn't try to make the girls sit closer but instead Angela sat beside Jane and Constance beside Maura. They wanted the girls to feel comfortable and didn't want to push them too much. The table fell quiet as they all ate in silence. The two mothers met each other's eyes, both trying to think of a way to get a conversation started.

"So how is it," Angela spoke up.

"It tastes wonderful. You did an excellent job dear." Constance said smiling at Maura.

"Yeah it's good." Jane said not looking up from her plate.

"Thank you." Maura replied also not looking at Jane. Angela shrugged her shoulders at Constance and continued to eat.

"So," Constance spoke up. "How do you feel Jane?"

"Um," Jane was caught off guard by the question and looked up at Constance. "I'm alright I guess…considering."

"Well that's good." She said with a smile. "You know I was so glad to hear that you accepted our invitation. Maura was really hoping to see you." At the mention of her name Jane's eyes automatically looked over at the blonde woman. Their eyes met again and Jane could hear her mother's words echoing in her head. _"You can see how hurt she is."_ It was true. She could see it and she felt terrible for how Maura feel. Jane broke the eye contact first and looked back to her plate. She took a deep breath before speaking up.

"So," At the sound of her voice both Angela and Constance looked up at her. Jane glanced over at Maura who then looked up at her as well. "How did we meet?" Maura wasn't expecting the question and for a moment she was speechless but as the memory of that day came back to her she couldn't help the small smile that formed. She told her the entire story. How she had been crying in the bathroom when they first saw each other and how Jane had walked up to Crowe in front of the other officers and defended her. At the end of the story Maura was happy to see that Jane had the ghost of a smile tugging at her lips as well.

"Well," Jane said turning her attention back to her plate. "It's nice to know that Crowe is still an ass." The soft sounds of chuckles came from the comment but again the table grew quiet until she spoke up again. "Uh did we know each other when…" Jane's eyes traveled down to her hands that were resting on the table then slowly made their way back up to Maura. "During the incident with Hoyt?" Maura was most definitely not expecting that question. She was stunned into silence as she thought about what to tell her. The last thing Maura wanted to do was keep something from her but she also didn't want to make Jane upset when the morning was going so much better than what she had expected.

"No," Maura answered finally. "We didn't know each other when Hoyt hurt your hands." Maura said with a nod. Jane was relieved by the information but there was something about Maura's answer, it was so specific, and she sensed that Maura had wanted to tell her something else, something more than what she had said. She studied her for a moment then she just nodded and focused her eyes back towards her plate because she didn't want to push the other woman too much.

The rest of the breakfast went by relatively quiet with short comments but nothing more than that. When breakfast was finished Angela insisted that she help clean up leaving Maura and Jane sitting alone in the living room but they didn't speak again as Jane waited anxiously for Angela to finish.

"Well I hope to see you both sometime soon." Angela said happily as she hugged first Maura then Constance goodbye.

"Me too Angela," Constance replied then turned towards Jane. "I'm glad to see that you're doing better, I hope you have a good afternoon." Jane smiled politely at her then looked at Maura.

"Thanks…for breakfast." She said softly. Maura's arms ached to reach out for her. They ached to hold her close and tell her how much she loved her and that everything would be ok but she held herself back and nodded because she didn't trust her voice.

"Ok, bye everyone!" Angela said but as soon as she opened the door Joe Friday came running through the house and looked up at Jane practically shaking with joy. Jane felt bad for Joe Friday because she had no clue what was going on other than the fact that she had really missed her owner. Jane reached down and gently scratched the little dog behind the ear. Maura felt her eyes sting as she watched. Since Jane had gotten hurt Joe Friday had been staying with her and had kept her company. She knew that seeing her go was going to be hard but she cleared her throat and spoke up anyways.

"You should take her home with you." She said softly and Jane's eyes snapped up to her.

"Are…are you sure?" Jane asked. Maura nodded then moved to the kitchen area and grabbed Joe Friday's food and her leash. Angela took the bag of food from her and Jane scooped Joe Friday up in her arms and got to her feet.

"Of course," Maura said holding the leash out to Jane. "She belongs to you…she wants you." Jane hesitantly reached out and took the leash from Maura.

"Thank you," Jane said and hugged Joe Friday closer. Angela gave Maura the most comforting smile she could manage and then they left. It was much too quick for Maura. She stood there for a moment and stared at the spot Jane had just been standing. Already she missed her presence.

"Don't be upset darling." Constance placed a comforting hand on Maura's shoulder. "She stayed and even talked a little. That's progress." Maura looked up at her mother and allowed herself to be pulled into a hug. She wrapped her arms around her and Constance held her closely. "One day at a time."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter: 12**

It was a relief to Jane when she finally arrived back at her apartment. Joe Friday jumped from her arms and ran excitedly through the apartment. Jane smiled at the little dog then turned towards her mother and took the bag of dog food out of her arms as she walked in.

"Well someone sure is happy to be home." Angela laughed at Joe Friday and went into the kitchen. "Do you want me to fix you anything?" Jane turned to her mother with an unbelieving look.

"Ma we just ate breakfast." Angela shrugged her shoulders.

"Well you didn't eat that much." Jane sighed then poured some food in the food bowl for Joe Friday. "How about something to drink?"

"I'm fine Ma," she put the dog food in the closet then went to the living room to watch TV. Angela looked at her from the kitchen and after a moment went to join her. Jane flipped through the channels twice before giving up and dropping the remote beside her and laying her head back on the couch.

"I can put a movie in if you want."

"If you want to," Jane sighed.

"What would you like to watch?" Angela asked as she got up from the couch.

"Whatever you want ma," Jane said trying to keep her voice calm. Angela went over to examine the collection of movies but didn't see anything that jumped out at her. After a moment she turned around to see that Jane hadn't moved.

"Can I get you a pillow? Or a blanket?"

"Ma!" Jane snapped harsher than what she had meant to. She raised her head up to look at her mother and immediately softened her tone. "Ma, I appreciate what you're trying to do, I really do. I love you for it but please, I don't need anything so please just relax, please." Angela nodded and Jane let her head fall back on to the couch.

"Are you sure…" Jane's eyes snapped open, but before she could say anything there was a scratching noise at the door. She looked over to see Joe Friday waiting at the door to be let outside.

"I love that dog," Jane murmured to herself as she quickly jumped up from the couch. "I'll take her out." She grabbed the leash from the kitchen counter and was out the door before Angela could protest. Out in the hallway she leaned against the door for a moment and took a deep breath. She looked down at Joe Friday who was waiting patiently for her then reached down and hooked the leash on to her collar.

* * *

"I didn't mean to make her feel bad." Jane said to Joe Friday as they walked down the sidewalk. "I guess I just needed some space. Do you think she's mad at me?" Joe Friday sniffed around all the different things they passed by. She was completely oblivious to what Jane was saying. Jane smiled as she watched the little dog walking happily along without a care in the world. They walked around in silence for a little while and eventually Jane found that her thoughts were turning to Maura. She thought about the stories Maura had shared with her about walking on the beach and about how they met. Jane liked the stories but that was all they were to her. They were stories that she felt no connection to at all even knowing that they were about her life. "What am I going to do Joe?" The dog looked back at her for a moment then seemed to get bored with Jane and continued walking down the sidewalk. "She seems like a good person and I hate that she's hurting but…I just don't know what to do." She smiled when Joe Friday walked back towards her, did a little circle, then walked on ahead again. "Anyone ever tell you that you're a very good listener?" They walked around the corner and Jane had to pull Joe Friday to a stop in order to let a family, who was coming out of the bakery, pass by. She was just about to start walking again when she suddenly became aware of the faint smell of freshly cooked bread coming from inside the bakery. The scent filled the air around her and she felt her chest get tight with a fear she didn't quite understand. Joe Friday pulled on the leash but Jane didn't move. Another smell mixed in with the bread. The smell reminded her of bad breath as if someone were standing right in front of her. A brief image came to her then, of a blurry figure of a man leaning over her but that was all she could make out before her mind snapped back to where she was.

* * *

Angela paced back and forth, from the living room in to the kitchen and back, until there was a frantic knock at the door. She was over there in an instant pulling the door open with much more force than needed. Her arms automatically reached out and pulled the anxious looking woman in to her arms.

"What happened?" Maura gently pulled away from her and stepped further into the apartment.

"I don't know," Angela shook her head and closed the door then she turned around and looked at Maura. Her eyes were wide with a helpless kind of fear in them and Maura knew that hers were probably the same if not worse. "She took Joe Friday out for a walk and when she came back she was upset. She went straight to her room and won't talk to me." Maura put a hand on Angela's shoulder to calm her. "What can I do Maura?" her voice held a defeated tone in it as she spoke.

"Let me see what I can do." Maura led Angela to the living room and gently sat her down on the couch before heading to Jane's room. She stopped outside the door and it suddenly occurred to her that she was in Jane's apartment. She hadn't been there since everything had happened. Maura forced all the feelings that rose up inside of her at the realization away. Jane needed her and she wouldn't be of much help if she fell into a sobbing mess. Taking a deep breath, Maura tried to calm her nerves as she knocked softly on the door. There was no answer, she hadn't really expected one, but she reached for the doorknob anyways and opened the door slowly. Jane was curled up against the pillows on her bed. Her face was hidden from Maura as she entered the room, but she knew that Jane knew she was there because her body tensed up as she got closer.

"Jane," to her surprise the woman turned her face so that she could look at her. She didn't say anything but Maura could see the internal battle she was having trying to decide if she could trust her. Maura pulled the chair she had bought for Jane's room over to the bed. Jane never took her eyes off of her as she moved and sat down in the chair. "Will you tell me what happened?" She spoke with calmness in her voice and gave Jane a look that she hoped told her that she wasn't planning on leaving. She had found that it was harder to send messages to Jane with their lost connection. The two of them just sat there for a moment in the silence. Maura's arms felt like they were burning with the desire to pull Jane into her arms. She clasped her hands together in her lap as a way to control them from reaching out. "You can tell me." It came out in almost a whisper. Maura had read somewhere that sometimes people found it easier to talk to strangers rather than people they actually knew. Of course, their situation was a bit different because Jane knew that she was supposed to know her. It didn't stop Maura from practically holding her breath as she waited for some kind of reaction.

"I…the bakery." Jane's voice was shaky but it was like music to her ears when she finally spoke. That was, until the words she had said sunk in and Maura understood what they had meant. "Why…I was s…scared. Why, what happened?" Jane sat up on her bed. Her eyes were wide with the same look she had seen on Angela's face just moments before only in Jane's eyes the emotions seemed deeper, and mixed in with the fear and helplessness there was frustration and anger. Maura didn't know how to answer her. It was a painful thing to talk about. It was a painful event for the both of them.

"I…you were taken by a man. His name was Dominic Bianchi." Maura paused seeing that Jane had seemed to space out on her for a moment as if she was concentrating, probably trying to figure out where she knew the name from, and she waited patiently for her to focus again.

"That name?" Jane looked up to her for help and she gave her a short nod before continuing.

"His family owned a bakery that your family went to often." At that it was only a few heartbeats for Jane's eyes to widen with shock.

"Bianchi's bakery! Dominic he…" her eyes had grown wide with shock and the muscles in Maura's arms twitched.

"Yes. He was suffering with a mental disorder that made him believe that you were in love with him. He took you and..." She felt her throat clench together and made a quick decision to leave her part out. "They found you tied to a bed…"

"Stop!" Jane was done. It was like her mind had been split in to two parts. Part of her wanted to know but the other was screaming for Maura to stop talking. Maura felt her eyes begin to burn again. Jane was scared. She was scared and she was right in front of her and Maura couldn't fight the burning anymore and her hands reached out for Jane's. She wasn't prepared. Truthfully she had suspected it would happen, but she wasn't anywhere near prepared for when Jane jerked her hands away from Maura. Jane's entire body went tense with a sense of alert and she looked up at her with those terrified eyes but they were now focused at Maura. Maura pulled her hands away from Jane and she stood up all at the same time. She couldn't think of anything to say so she left. She left the room and made it to the end of the hallway before it once again occurred to her that she was in Jane's apartment.

_Jane opened the door and before Maura could even say hello, male voices could be heard shouting from inside the apartment. _

_"You've got to be kidding me!"_

_"He was safe!" _

_"Is that guy blind!" Maura looked past Jane to see three men sitting on the couch. All eyes where focused on a baseball game on the TV. Jane was just about to say something when another voice cut through the air. _

_"Will you boys quiet down! Can't you see that Jane has a visitor!" A woman shouted just as loudly. Jane shook her head and smiled at her friend. _

_"Maura, I'm sorry about that. I did tell you my family was nuts." Jane stepped aside and motioned for her to come in but Maura shook her head. _

_"No, I wouldn't want to intrude on your time with your family," she said. _

_"Seriously?" Jane raised her eyebrows at Maura "Come on Maura you're my friend and you're not intruding on anything. Besides my ma has been dying to meet you." She said with a bright smile that Maura couldn't say no to._

_"If you're sure…"_

_"Of course I'm sure. Get in here." Maura stepped into the apartment and Jane shut the door behind her. _

_"Besides you are always welcome in my home." Jane said smiling as she led Maura into the kitchen area. _

The words had made Maura light up when they had been said so long ago. "_You are always welcome in my home."_ They were said in a sincere careless kind of way, like it was something Maura should've already known. Maura was barely aware that Angela was calling out to her and that she had gotten off the couch and was approaching her. She looked around the apartment at the familiar atmosphere that she wasn't apart of anymore. "_You are always welcome in my home." _The words seemed to whisper through the air, as if taunting her, as she stood there.

"Maura, what happened?" Angela was panicked at the tears falling down Maura's face but she received no answer. Maura suddenly felt as if she was suffocating. She had to get out. She shook her head at Angela and rushed for the door.


	13. Chapter 13

**A little Pause:**

**Ok guys I know that it's hard to see all the pain and stuff that the girls are going through and I'm going to be honest and say the worst hasn't come yet, but stick with me guys I promise there's a light at the end of the tunnel. This story is far from being over. Jane just needs to find something she can hold on to first before things start to get better (that's why I chose the name). I for one can't wait because you guys are feeling exactly how I want you to! Yay! Anyways I'll try to get the story updated soon and as always thank you for the awesome reviews! Oh yeah, also I know how I want this story to go but if you have any suggestions on something you want to see I am always open to new ideas! Haha and if you're anything like me and have any questions on what's going to happen and you just can't wait…I might answer them (somewhat) if you PM me. I hope you all have an awesome day and thanks for reading!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter: 13**

Jane sat there in the silence and slowly felt her breathing turn back to normal and her muscles relax. She stared at the door, where Maura had practically ran out and she lowered her head into her hands. Jane silently cursed at herself and threw herself back against the bed in frustration. She had upset Maura again. Maura had reached for her and for some reason she had pulled back. The thing that Jane didn't understand was that a part of her wanted to feel Maura's arms wrap around her but the idea of it terrified her all at the same time and the only reaction she could think of at that moment was to pull back. Jane wasn't ready for her. There was something about the woman that made Jane want to let her in but she still felt like a stranger. Someone that Jane couldn't quite understand but felt she could trust. It was all so confusing and strange feeling to her and she hated it. Jane was tired of it. She was tired of people looking at her with so much hope in their eyes, of them wanting to be close to her but her feeling as if she barely knew them, but most of all she was tired of hurting people. It wasn't worth it. She wasn't worth all of the pain that those people were going through.

"Jane." Angela's voice came softly through the door. Jane reached behind her and grabbed a pillow. She brought it to her chest and hugged it tightly. "Jane, can I come in?"

"No," Jane called back softly.

"Jane please, I just want to make sure you're ok." She heard the desperation in her mother's voice but she couldn't let her in. She wanted, no she needed, to be alone. Just for a few minutes in order to get a hold of herself.

"I'm fine Ma," she called back but cursed at the way her voice cracked slightly. _Please go away. Please. _She thought to herself and closed her eyes tightly. She hugged the pillow tighter and waited for another sound from her mother.

"Ok Jane," it was softer, more defeated, and made Jane feel worse. "I'm going to step out for a moment sweetie. Do you mind?"

"No," She called back softly.

"Are you sure?"

"Please ma," Jane whispered to herself. "I'm ok," she called back. A moment later she heard her mother's voice again.

"Ok, call me if you need me. I love you." Jane heard her mother's footsteps retreat down the hall and she felt a tear fall down the side of her face. Instead of wiping it away she buried her face in the pillow and let them come.

* * *

Constance had just started making some tea when she heard the car pull in to the garage. Her nerves had been shaking since they had received the call from Angela. She had wanted to go with her but Maura insisted that she go over there on her own. Constance looked up expectantly at the door. It swung open minutes later and her heart clenched when she saw her daughter's puffy red eyes. She went to her but Maura held a hand up to stop her.

"I'll be ok," she desperately wanted her mother to hold her. She wanted Constance to hold her close and make everything better but she knew that if it happened she would only end up crying again, and that didn't fix anything. Constance was a bit hurt at Maura's rejection but she understood and stepped back a bit to give her some space.

"What happened darling?" She asked but Maura shook her head and walked past her to the kitchen. "I've already started some tea. I figured you might…" Maura went straight to the refrigerator and grabbed out a bottle of beer. Constance raised her eyebrows in surprise but she didn't say anything as Maura opened the bottle and took two large drinks from it. Maura met her mother's eyes for a moment then walked slowly in to the living room. Constance waited a moment before she followed her. She sat on the couch beside her daughter but didn't reach for her. It was clear that Maura wanted her space and she would give it to her for as long as she wanted it. "What happened darling?" She asked again a bit softer. Maura took another drink and swallowed it slowly before answering.

"I…I reached out for her." She said and Constance closed her eyes, preparing herself for the rest, she could pretty much guess what had happened. Maura turned towards her and her eyes were tearing up but she refused to cry again. "I know that I shouldn't have but…she was upset and I just…I just…reacted." Constance took a chance and placed her hand over Maura's in order to offer some type of comfort. She was relieved that Maura didn't pull away again but it only made her realize that much more how Maura must have felt when Jane did. "I used to…be able to comfort her with just one touch. Now, I don't know what to do to help her and I feel…lost." Constance nodded and gave Maura's hand a gentle squeeze before releasing it.

"Well, you've been together for so long. It's programmed inside of you what you're supposed to do when she's in need. You can't just turn it off and it's going to be hard to adjust to." Maura looked into her mother's eyes when she finished speaking. She had known all of those things but somehow, hearing it form someone else, made her believe the information much more than what she had. "It's going to be ok Darling." Maura shook her head slightly and turned away from her. She stared at the bottle resting in her hands.

"I wish people would stop saying that." She whispered. "No one knows that it's going to be ok." Constance felt a lump swell up in her throat as she reached out for her daughter. She put a finger under Maura's chin and gently guided her head to look at her.

"That's what believing in something is all about," she tucked some hair behind Maura's ear and watched as tears came to her eyes again. "It's about knowing with all your heart that something is true and not letting anyone tell you different. We have to fight for what we believe in because when we stop believing that's when we give up. That is when we truly fail." Maura looked up at her mother and couldn't speak. She took in a shaking breath but no tears fell.

"It's so hard," she finally said and Constance didn't miss a beat pulling her into her arms.

"Oh darling, I know." Maura wrapped her arms around her mother as well. "That's what makes it worth it." Maura pulled away from her so that she could look at her again. "Nothing in this world that meant anything came without a fight." Maura didn't say anything. A tear fell but she quickly wiped it away and rubbed the rest of the tears out of her eyes as well. She didn't want anymore tears falling. She looked at her mother again wondering when she had gotten so smart.

"Thank you mother," she said with a slight smile. Constance leaned forward and placed a kiss on her forehead. Just when she was about to say something else there was a knock on the door. Maura looked at the door with a hint of confusion in her eyes but got up and wiped her eyes again as she went to the door.

"Maura," Angela grabbed her and brought her in to a hug and held on to her tightly. Maura wanted to know why she was there and not with Jane but couldn't find her voice as Angela held her. Finally she released her and took a step back. "I'm sorry I just…"

"It's ok Angela," Maura stepped out of the way and waved her in. "What's going on? How's Jane?"

"I don't know." She said shaking her head. "She insisted that she wanted to be alone and I wanted to make sure that you were ok."

"I'm alright Angela." Maura said glancing at her mother who had gotten up from the couch and was walking over to them.

"Why don't you sit down for a moment Angela? Have a cup of tea?" Constance placed a comforting hand on the other woman's shoulder.

"No, I should be getting back to Jane. I just wanted to make sure that you were ok." Angela said glancing at Maura.

"She will be ok for a few minutes come take a break for a while. Just one cup and you can head back," Constance said. Angela looked back to Maura who nodded her agreement and finally she let out a sigh and walked with Constance towards the kitchen.

* * *

Jane shut off the lights in her room and closed the curtains. She went back to her bed and climbed under the covers. She took the pillow back into her arms and held tightly to it. The tears had stopped a while ago and she was left exhausted with a slight headache. The picture sitting on night table beside her stared back as if it were mocking her. The image of hurt on Maura's face right before she bolted out of her room filled Jane's head. It brought up new more intense feelings of guilt and she suddenly couldn't get comfortable. She reached over and laid the picture down on it's front so that it wasn't staring at her anymore but it didn't help. There were too many feelings. Too many thoughts rushing through her head at once and she couldn't keep up with them. She thought back to the image that had invaded her head when she had stood outside the bakery. She thought hard to get it back and eventually she brought up the blurry and dark silhouette of a man leaning over her that she had seen before but she couldn't get any further with it. Honestly, from what Maura had said, she didn't think that she wanted to know. The image sent a shiver down her spine and she pushed it away again and held on to the pillow.

* * *

Angela felt a little better when she arrived back at Jane's apartment. She got out her key but was a bit surprised to find that it was already unlocked. Figuring that she had just forgotten to lock it, Angela didn't think much more about it and entered the quietness of the apartment. Jane's door was still closed but she could see that the light had been turned off. Angela went to the kitchen and made herself busy by making some coffee. It would be something warm that might help Jane feel better even if she still didn't want to speak to her. She got down a coffee cup and stood at the counter waiting for the coffee to be finished. When the beeper went off she prepared the coffee how she thought Jane liked it and made her way slowly towards her daughter's room.

There was no answer when she knocked on the door. For a moment she wondered if Jane was actually asleep or just ignoring her. She wondered if she should leave her alone and wait until morning but that thought was quickly overruled. Angela reached out with her free hand and opened the door slowly.

"Janie?" She called out quietly but still there was no answer. When Angela got the door opened all the way she saw why and nearly dropped the hot cup of coffee. Jane wasn't lying in her bed.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter: 14**

The sun was beginning to go down and the air was cool against her skin. She wrapped her arms around herself and watched the little dog as she pranced around happily. Jane had just about decided to go to bed when she heard Joe Friday scratching at the door again to go out. Though she didn't really want to take her out, not after what had happened earlier, she had practically spent the whole day hidden in her room and figured it wouldn't hurt to get out for a moment. She walked the complete opposite way of the bakery. The fresh air was refreshing and made her feel a lot better. As the time past Jane barely registered it because she was going over the day's events over and over again in her head wondering what to do about their current situation. They most certainly couldn't continue going on the way that they were. Jane also knew that sometime, sooner rather than later, she and Maura would have to figure out what to do about everything. She was deep in thought when Joe Friday suddenly jerked hard on the leash and snapped her out of it.

"Calm down," Jane said softly but then noticed that it was obviously getting later. She looked down at her watch and noticed that she had been gone later than what she had planned. "C'mon girl let's go back home." She called to the dog then began to make her was back towards her apartment.

* * *

Every nerve in Angela's body was on high alert. Her stomach was twisted up in knots and she felt so nauseous that she thought she could actually be sick. She couldn't sit still and just didn't know what to do with her hands after she had gotten off the phone. From where she sat in the living room Angela could see a bottle of kitchen cleaner. With a shaky sigh she pushed herself up from the chair she was sitting in and headed into the kitchen. She grabbed the cleaner and a rag then went to work scrubbing the already clean kitchen counters. She was thankful for at least having something to do while she waited. Standing there in Jane's kitchen, Angela swore she could hear her ex-husband's voice whispering through the silence.

_"She's fine Angela," Frank said for the hundredth time as he watched her clean the kitchen for the third time just that morning. Angela dropped the sponge she was using and turned to face her husband. She couldn't understand how he could be so calm. _

_"How do you know? What if…" _

_"It's her first day Angela. What are you expecting to happen?" _

_"I'm expecting her to get hurt!" her voice rose slightly as she spoke "It's dangerous out there and I doubt the people she's chasing after care that it's her first day!" _

_"She's fine Angela. You'll see her when she gets here tonight."_

_"And what about the next night or the night after that Frank?"_

_"She'll be fine." He repeated in an annoyed voice and turned his attention back to the TV._

_"You don't know that." She whispered quietly to herself. _

Angela was so focused on both the scrubbing and the memory that the sound of the door opening made her heart jump into her throat.

* * *

Constance had insisted on driving and Maura, not wanting to waste any time, had agreed. The car sped down the streets but Maura silently willed it to go faster. Her heart had been racing ever since she got off the phone with Angela. Her mind was on overdrive with too many emotions, fear, hurt, and anger. It wasn't supposed to be this way. This wasn't ever supposed to happen. Jane was supposed to come home that morning and Maura was supposed to wrap her up in a hug that told her how much she loved her. They were supposed to go out and forget all about the rough patch they had went through the weeks before. Then they were supposed to go home and Jane was supposed to hold her like she always did in a way that was warm and safe feeling. What was happening to them wasn't right.

Maura felt her nerves jumping around all over her body. She stared out the window wondering where on earth Jane had gone, or if something happened to her. Many possibilities ran through her head and even though Angela said that nothing looked disturbed it didn't really mean anything. It did nothing to calm her fears. She watched as the buildings past by her window and seemed to blend together as she stared at them.

_Maura stood in the middle of the destroyed apartment. She checked her watch then looked back up at the door again hoping to she her friend but the only people to come through were other detectives and lab people. Something wasn't right. Over in the corner of the room Maura spotted Frost and she went over to him. _

_"Where's Jane?" _

_"I don't know. Didn't you call her a while ago?" His response sent a cold chill crawling down her spine and she nodded. "C'mon." She followed him silently out of the apartment and out to the entrance of the building. Her eyes carefully scanned through the many cars crowded around. Maura felt her heart skip when she saw the one see was looking for, but Jane was not with it. She was nowhere to be seen. _

_"Frost…that's her car." She said pointing with wide eyes. _

_"Shit!" Frost said then rushed towards the vehicle already knowing she wasn't there. He cursed again before calling for back up. Slowly, Maura felt her heart rate speed up. All the blood rushed into her ears and she felt her chest tighten. Jane was gone. Hoyt was after her. Hoyt escaped and now Jane, her best friend, was missing. It felt like she was in a trance watching Frost come back to her and asking if she was ok. His face was full of worry and it snapped her out of it enough to be able to answer. _

_"Jane…go find Jane." Frost looked at her wide eyes. _

_"Are you ok," he repeated and she nodded. _

_"Go find her." Her voice held a note of desperateness that he wasn't used to hearing from her. He nodded and rushed for his car. "Please. Please be ok." She whispered silently out into the night air. _

"Maura, we're here." Constance said as she screeched to a halt in front of Jane's building. Maura practically jumped from the car before it was completely stopped. She didn't even wait for her mother but instead rushed for the stairs. Constance understood and just did her best to catch up.

* * *

For a moment Angela just stared at Jane as if she would disappear if she looked away. The look on her mother's face had Jane cursing silently at herself for not getting back sooner.

"Ma…" her voice seemed to snap Angela out of her trance. She dropped the rag and the bottle of cleaner on the counter then rushed towards her daughter. Her arms wrapped around her for a quick hug then pulled away.

"Where were you!" she demanded.

"Ma…"

"Do you have any idea how worried I was!"

"I took Joe Friday for a walk." Jane said louder so that her mother would actually hear her.

"What and you didn't think to leave a note or…" her voice trailed off when there was a frantic knock on the door. Barely a second later the door came open and Maura appeared with Constance behind her. Jane's eyes instantly locked with Maura's.

Emotion overtook Maura and before Constance or Angela could even think about trying to stop her she had closed the distance between herself and Jane. She wrapped her arms around her in a tight hug and the two mothers eyes went to Jane wondering what her reaction would be. Jane looked from them then down at the woman who was clinging to her and she thought back to earlier when she had pulled away from her and how hurt she had looked. She thought about that look and instead of pulling back she awkwardly patted Maura on the back until she pulled away.

"What were you thinking?" Maura was angry now that she knew that Jane was safe. She was still under the control of all the natural emotions that were running through her system. "You had us all scared to death!" Jane looked passed her, slightly annoyed now, and shot her mother a glare.

"You had to call her?"

"Oh no, don't you try to put the blame on your mother." Maura said in a voice that demanded Jane's attention.

"Maura…" Constance tried to warn but was ignored.

"Do you even realize or care how worried we were? Did you even think about that?"

"I took the dog for a walk!" Jane could feel the anger rising as the conversation continued. "I don't know when exactly that became a crime and I honestly thought I'd be back before you noticed." Jane said glancing at Angela then back to Maura.

"Jane you can't just…"

"Can't what? Leave _my_ house to walk _my_ dog without reporting it to everyone. Doesn't that sound even a bit ridiculous to you?" Jane turned and went into the kitchen needing some more space between them.

"Maura…darling I..." Constance tried to warn as Maura walked closer so that the counter was between them but she was ignored.

"Don't walk away from me Jane." At the sound of her voice Jane spun around and walked up to the other side of the counter. Her hands held on to the edge tightly.

"In case any of you have forgotten I am a grown adult." Jane's angry brown eyes met Maura's green ones.

"Yes, a grown adult who has just recently suffered from a very bad…"

"Do you think that I don't know that!" Jane yelled a little louder. Maura fell silent and her eyes went wide as if she had just realized everything that had happened since she arrived. Her emotions broke apart and she was now able to think more clearly and hated that she had lost control for even a moment. "I'm well aware of the fact that something is wrong with me!" Jane yelled and Maura thought she heard sadness break into her voice. "The fact that I can look right at you and not know a damn thing about you is pretty much a dead give away!" Jane paused for a moment both to calm herself a little and to see if Maura would say anything. When she remained silent Jane continued, "It's gone Maura. Everything that's happened between us, everything that you remember, what we had is gone Maura." Her voice remained calm as she spoke but her arms shook and she was gripping the counter so hard that her knuckles were white. Angela's hand flew to her mouth at her daughter's words but everyone remained quiet. "I want you to go." Jane spoke up again softly and then looked at Angela. "All of you. I just want to be alone." She then pushed away from the counter and went to her room. No one attempted to stop her. A minute or two later, when she came back out, they where gone. Jane walked slowly down the hallway and into her living room. She leaned against one of the walls and let herself slide down to the floor. A tear ran down the side of her face but she didn't wipe it away. She didn't know what was wrong with her and she hated how everything was but most of all she hated herself. Her shoes laid discarded beside of her were she had kicked them off earlier. Slowly she got to her feet and anger, she couldn't really pinpoint where it was coming from, surged through her. She picked up one of the shoes and threw it as hard as she could at the wall. It hit the painting that was hanging up. The glass cracked on impact then the frame fell from the wall and it hit the floor. A little over half the glass fell out and shattered.

**Sorry it took a while for this chapter but I found myself a bit busier than I thought I would be for the past couple of days. Anyways I hope you enjoyed and I'll try to have the next one up sooner.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter: 15**

_"Ms. Rizzoli please take a seat." the man before her looked tired as he took a seat behind his desk. His short hair was starting to gray at the edges and he spoke with the calm softness that came with experience at his job. Angela approached a chair that sat in front of the desk and wished that she had brought someone with her. Maura at least, but she hadn't spoke to Maura since she had left the hospital room. Angela's thoughts quickly turned to her daughter lying in that hospital bed and completely clueless with the situation. The doctor's voice had brought her out of those thoughts and they talked quietly for a while about Jane's condition. _

_"I'm…sure that she'll be ok. We can deal with this. I know my daughter and she's a fighter." Angela said with a sure nod. The doctor shook his head sadly at her._

_"Ms. Rizzoli, I don't think you completely understand the situation." He said just keeping his voice calm and gentle as he spoke. "Jane…may not be the same." Angela gave him a confused look and shifted nervously in her seat. _

_"What do you mean?" He sighed the deep and sad kind of sigh of a man who has had to experience the grief of parents, siblings, sons, daughters, wives, husbands, and any other family member you could think of, on a regular basis, and still hasn't been able to shield himself away from their pain. _

_"I'm saying that your daughter has had a terrible brain injury." He paused and Angela nodded to show that she was following. "There might be some changes. You can't take her home and expect her to be the same person she was before." _

_"Yes, but my Janie…"_

_"Ms. Rizzoli," he said and Angela fell silent. "I've seen a man go from the most kindest, friendliest, likable kind of guy you ever meet to a man who was…well…to put it kindly he wasn't so friendly and likable anymore. He became hateful and reckless." Angela looked at him for a moment and let the information sink in._

_"We'll be fine." She said after a moment then got up and left the doctor. _

The Doctor's words echoed in Angela's head as she sat curled up on Maura's couch. She held a cup of hot tea in her hands and tried to allow it's warmth to comfort her but it didn't work.

"Angela…" Constance's quiet and unsure voice cut through to the other woman who had been quiet ever since she had sat down.

"I don't know what to do." Angela said quietly. "How am I supposed to help her when she won't let me?"

"She'll calm down Angela. She's just scared and confused. I suspect she's still trying to adjust." Constance gave the other woman a sad smile and took a sip of her tea. Angela was quiet for a moment before she spoke again.

"What she said to Maura…I just...I couldn't help but to think…to think that she wasn't my daughter anymore." Tears swelled up in her eyes and Constance rose from the chair to sit next to her. She put her tea on the table and placed a hand on Angela's shoulder.

"Of course she is, Jane will always be your daughter. We just…we just have to find a way to deal with everything." Angela nodded and wiped her eyes before the tears could fall.

"What about Maura? The poor thing must be devastated." Angela said as she rubbed her eyes again and looked at Constance. "She needs Jane and Jane needs her. I'm not sure that either of them can make it through this without the other."

"Don't give up on them yet," Constance said giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze before removing her hand. "I…I don't think I have ever seen anything like them before." She said looking down at her hands then meeting Angela's eyes with a look that she hoped was one that showed confidence and hope. "I am sure that they will find a way back to each other. They are both so strong and they've been through so much that I can't imagine them not."

* * *

It was the start of another sleepless night. Maura had never noticed, even on the nights when Jane worked late, how empty her bed felt without Jane there with her. It was probably because when Jane was just working late Maura knew that she would eventually come back to her. The month before the accident Jane had been spending more and more nights over with her until they were practically living together. That was something else that was supposed to happen. The day of the accident, when Maura had been planning a night out with Jane, she had also decided that it would be the night she would ask Jane to officially move in with her. She thought about that as she turned over to look at the right side of her bed, Jane's side. She reached her hand over and let it fall on the undisturbed side of her bed. The spot was cool to the touch as yet another reminder of its emptiness. A shiver ran down Maura's spine and she pulled the blanket closer but it did little to help. The coldness that she felt didn't come from any outside force and wasn't something that could be fixed with the simplness of a warm blanket. Jane, she needed Jane and the lack of her presence and the memory of her words sent an aching into her chest. A constant reminder of what she was missing.

* * *

_A fog seemed to be surrounding her as she walked. Then it began to clear and suddenly there was a clear image in front of her. She was in a room that she felt oddly comfortable in. Sunlight poured into the house and streamers hung from the glass doors on the wall beside of her. She looked further into the room and saw a table with a few wrapped boxes sitting on it. Then the fog clouded her vision again and then faded away slightly so that there was only a thin layer for her to have to look through. She took a step further and heard voices coming from beside of her. She turned her head to see her mother laughing at something her brother had said. The fog thicked a little more and she heard another voice from behind her. She spun around and caught a foggy image of a woman with honey blonde hair standing in the doorway behind her. _

_"Jane…" the voice sounded distorted and kind of like she was hearing it from underwater. The fog grew thicker as the woman took a step closer. "Ja…ane" the voice sounded a bit more recognizable but still like it was underwater. Then the fog completely took over and the image was gone, replaced with darkness. "Jane" and there was no mistaking who the soft and sweet voice belonged to. _

Jane's sleepy eyes opened partly and she brought her heavy hand up to rub them. She then closed her eyes again and, still half asleep, she turned over and her hand automatically reached towards the left side of the bed. The motion was so natural to her body that it remembered what her brain could not. Her hand hit the empty space beside her and after a moment Jane's eyes snapped open. She looked at her outstretched hand for a moment in confusion before slowly bringing it back and getting herself to a sitting position. Slowly the broken images of her dream came back to her. Her hand flew to her mouth and she stared at the empty space in her bed with a shocked expression. There was no way in hell that she would be able to go back to sleep after that.

**So, I know that this chapter is a bit shorter but this felt like a good place to stop for now. I hope you enjoyed! I also hope that everyone had a great holiday and as always thank you for reading and for the awesome reviews!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter: 16**

The sun was just coming up when Angela decided that she just couldn't wait any longer. She snuck out of Maura's house as quietly as she could and didn't stop until she reached Jane's apartment. It was there, standing out in the hallway with her hand on the doorknob, that Angela froze. Jane had been so upset and very serious when she had told them all to leave that Angela wasn't sure she wanted to face her daughter's reaction to her coming back. This wasn't the Jane that she was used to and she didn't know how to handle this Jane. But she was her mother and no matter what Jane would always be her daughter. After giving herself a small pep talk Angela unlocked the door using her key and went inside.

"Jane," She called out but she saw the painting on the ground and the shards of glass surrounding it and she stood there staring at it for a moment in the silence. Jane's shoe laid only a few inches away making it easy for her to assume what had taken place. _This has to stop. _She thought and she stepped carefully around the broken pieces of glass. As she made her way down the hall towards Jane's bedroom Angela let the frustration she had been holding back bubble up to the surface. When she reached the door she didn't stop to knock and instead pushed it open. Jane was asleep but jumped up in her bed when the door slammed against the wall. Her eyes frantically searched around her room until they settled on her mother. She let out a sigh and brought her hands up to rub her eyes.

"Ma? What are…"

"Get up." Angela demanded and Jane dropped her hands away from her face and looked up at her mother with a hint of confusion in her eyes. "Get. Up." She repeated with more authority in her voice. She walked up to the bed and pulled the blankets away then stood there practically glaring at Jane.

"Ok…ok" Jane quickly got to her feet and stared back at her mother. Angela grabbed Jane's hand, not enough to hurt her, but enough to let her know that she was serious.

"No more of this," she pulled Jane in front of the closet and yanked some clothes out. "No more laying in bed feeling sorry for yourself, no more shutting everyone out, I let you get by with it yesterday but today is a new day." She handed the clothes to Jane and pointed towards the bathroom. "Now go get in the shower then get dressed. You've got some apologizing to do." Jane felt her jaw drop and she stared at her mother with disbelief.

"I…am not some child. You can't just come in here and tell me what to do like this!" She turned away from her but Angela didn't even let her take a step.

"Don't you dare walk away from me!" She moved so that she stood in front of Jane and looked up at her with fierceness in her eyes that Jane had never seen before. "Enough! It's enough Jane!" She yelled throwing her hands up in defeat. "I just want you back Jane!"

"Well what if I can't do that!" Jane yelled back at her. Dark eyes now matched her mother's. "Huh, what then ma!" Angela remained quiet and Jane turned sharply on her heels and went over to the wall. She placed her hands against the coolness of it and her heart beat faster with all the emotions running through her system. Suddenly, she hit the wall hard with the palm of her hand, causing Angela to jump, and she spun back around. "What if I can't be the same person you knew before." She wasn't yelling but with the tone she was using she might as well have been. "I know that all of you are hoping that I'll just wake up one day and be normal again but what if I don't? And I know that all of you feel like you don't know me anymore, I can see it on your all of your faces, but hell I don't even know me!" She yelled the last part and tears sprang to her eyes faster than what she could control. "And it scares the hell out of me." She threw her hands up much like her mother had done and went back over to the wall. She turned and looked at her mother who just stood there silent and unmoving. For a moment Jane let herself rest against the wall before slowly sliding to the floor.

Angela backed up slowly until she felt the edge of the bed and she collapsed onto the softness, Jane kept her eyes focused on the floor but Angela could see the tears sliding down her daughter's face. Jane's words had hit her hard because she realized that she hadn't truly considered the possibility of her not getting her memory back. Sure the idea had entered her head but she always pushed those thoughts away. Angela watched as Jane finally reached up and frantically tried to wipe the tears away but more just replaced those so she just gave up and covered her face with her hands as she cried. She looked so small and fragile that for a moment Angela saw Jane as her little girl again. The image that had flashed through her head following that thought had Angela up on her feet and on the floor beside her daughter quicker than the blink of an eye. She wrapped her arms around her and almost immediately Jane' s entire body tensed making Angela think she would pull away but instead Jane tore her hands away from her face and wrapped them around her mother's waist. Jane buried her face in Angela's shoulder and her body shook as she began to sob harder and she clung to her mother. Angela held her closer feeling her own tears fall. She only loosened her hold when Jane's body relaxed and her cries quieted. She released Jane and moved back knowing that she would want her space in order to collect herself again. Sitting back against the wall Angela wiped her own tears away and waited patiently for Jane. When she finally got herself under control again Jane rested her head against the wall and closed her eyes until she was ready to trust her voice to be able to speak again.

"Talk to me Jane." Angela said softly. Jane sniffed and wiped her eyes again.

"I…I don't know his life." Jane turned towards her mother and Angela nodded and made eye contact with her red puffy eyes. "Up here," Jane tapped her forehead "I…I've never solved a murder before," she pointed over to her laptop and glanced at it then turned back to Jane "yet I have one of the highest closing rates. Korsak is congratulating me for making detective and saying he can't wait to work our first case together, but my partner is a man that I've only seen twice and I know nothing about him. I…I would come over to your house for dinner with my family, but you don't live there anymore and dad's gone." A pang of sadness went through Angela but she didn't interrupt. "Hell," Jane chuckled a bit and wiped away another tear that fell. "Even my apartment is a lot more…" She looked from the painting hanging on her wall, to the chair, then back to her mother "furnished than I remember." She sighed and her eyes traveled down to her hands. "And a lot more scars," she said in a much softer voice. Angela heard her but didn't comment on it. Jane took a deep breath before speaking again. "And…in my head. I…I'm not ready for a serious relationship yet. I'm not ready for someone who waits for me to come home every night and who worries about me when I'm out working." She paused then looked up at Angela again. "But I have a girlfriend and apparently we've been very close for a long time. She's beautiful and when she looks at me I can see how much she cares but I can also see how much she's hurting and…I don't really…feel anything but sympathy for her. I…I want to help her but I don't know how. I don't know her." Jane's eyes pleaded for some kind of answer, some magical solution that would fix everything, and it pained Angela that she couldn't give that to her.

"I don't have an answer for you Jane." She wrapped her arm around Jane's shoulders "in fact the only thing that I can tell you with complete certainty is that Maura loves you. You were her first best friend ever and the first person to show her that she could be loved just for being herself." She paused for a moment before continuing, "You need to talk with her. I…I know it's awkward and probably scary but," her eyes met Jane's with a look of complete seriousness. "Your life wasn't the only one to get completely turned upside down."

* * *

Constance frowned as she took inventory of Maura's kitchen. She didn't want to leave Maura, and judging by the fact that Maura had yet to get out of bed, Constance didn't think that she would be up for leaving the house. She sighed as she walked down the hall figuring that she'd at least try anyways. She knocked softly on the door and stepped in already knowing that she wouldn't get a response. Maura was lying on the bed facing away from her. She didn't acknowledge that anyone had entered her room but she did look up as Constance walked over and sat on the bed next to her. Her red-rimmed eyes told her that she had been crying again.

"Maura darling, we need to go get some groceries." Maura looked at her for a second longer than looked away and settled back against her pillows.

"You go," her voice was quiet and raspier than it normally was. Constance felt her heart sink at her response though she was already expecting it.

"Darling I think…"

"Please," Maura spoke again "I'm tired." She said in a sad defeated tone. Her eyes closed and Constance nodded even though no one saw.

"Of course," she whispered and leaned forward to press a kiss on the top of her head. Slowly she got to her feet and briefly thought about calling Angela to come sit with her but she figured that she would be busy with Jane so the thought was quickly dismissed. "You want me to make you some breakfast before I go?" Maura didn't open her eyes she simply shook her head and settled back into the pillows. Constance looked sadly at her and knew she wouldn't be able to change her mind. She would however force Maura to eat some lunch if she refused that to. "Ok darling, I'll make a quick trip to the store and you can call me if you need anything. Even if I'm not finished, I'll drop everything and hurry back ok?" Again Maura's eyes remained closed and she nodded her response. "Ok then," she whispered to herself and with one last look at her daughter she left the room, shutting the door softly behind her, and prepared to go do the fastest grocery shopping that she's ever done.

When she heard the door shut behind her Maura opened her eyes. She weakly turned to face the other side of the bed and once again stared at the empty spot. She really was tired but she couldn't sleep anymore. She felt completely drain like she couldn't so anything at all. Unable to sleep, to move, and she had no appetite at all even though she didn't eat dinner or anything for breakfast. Slowly she let her hand travel across the coolness of the sheets until it rested on the right on the right side of the bed, which would probably always be Jane's side of the bed since she couldn't bring herself to lay there, and she closed her eyes trying once again to fall into the comfort of sleep.

**Sorry this was late everyone! I have exams to do at school, and there's ya know studying and all that….grr. **


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter: 17**

Her face betrayed no emotions as she stood there in the doorway. It showed none of the raging emotions that began to swarm through her body the moment she had opened the door. No hint of her pounding heart, the ache in her chest, or the slight tingle she felt run down her arms and hands. It was a cruel kind of joke that her body reacted that way whenever she saw Jane. Maura kept all expression off her face. Jane's face however, showed all the fear and nervousness that she was feeling. For a moment she looked as if she was going to say something but thought better of it and ran a hand through the tangle of curls. The action was so normal, so familiar, that Maura almost couldn't stand it.

"I…my ma gave me directions." Jane finally said as she let her hand fall back to her side. Maura nodded and cleared her throat.

"Would you like to come in?" Jane shook her head and Maura felt the sting of disappointment but in all honesty she wasn't sure that she really wanted Jane to come in anyways, plus she knew that she had to look like a mess.

"I…uh," Jane cleared her throat. Any time before the accident Maura would have found her behavior somewhat funny at how nervous she was, but at that moment here was no hint of that humor as she watched and waited for Jane to find the words that she was looking for. "Uh…shit!" She said and turned around.

"Language." Maura responded on pure instinct and regretted it as soon as it came out. Her hand flew to her mouth and she waited for Jane's reaction preparing for a repeat of last night. Jane turned around and to Maura's surprise and relief she looked up at her with calm eyes.

"I take it you've had to say that a lot." She said softly and lowering her eyes to the porch. "I…I'm no good at this. I guess you already know that...I…I'm sorry." She said with a sigh. "I yelled at you last night," her eyes came back up meeting Maura's straight on. Maura nodded and waited for her to continue. "I…I was just frustrated. I know that's a bad excuse and that you all are just trying to help with this whole situation." The words came out rushed and Jane took another breath to calm herself. "You didn't deserve that. I'm sorry." It was Jane's turn to wait for Maura to speak.

"Apology accepted," She said after a bit of a pause. Jane let out another sigh and ran her hand through her hair again. More silence passed before Jane got up the courage to speak again.

"I don't really know how to do this." Maura looked up at her and Jane nodded as if she were confirming the thoughts she had put together in her head. "I think that I can try to…to be with you. It's not fair to you if I don't." Maura didn't respond to that either. As soon as she heard the words come out of her mouth Maura knew what her answer would be. Actually she had known way before that. She knew the moment Jane had finally woken up in the hospital.

It was her eyes. Maura looked at Jane's eyes and knew her answer. Those dark eyes that used to light up whenever she entered the room. The ones that used to communicate, only to her, what she didn't want others to know. Those eyes that would look at her with an endless kind of love in them…they were gone. There was no more love in Jane's eyes when she looked at her. There was only the faint recognition that two people get after they've met a few times. Other than that there was nothing and Maura knew this but up until that moment that Jane had spoken Maura had tried to pretend like it could all go back to normal. Of course she knew that it couldn't but the emotional part of her mind had been overruling the logical side until that moment and finally her mind had been cleared. She felt the ache in her chest fade away and felt numb. A tear fell down her face as her eyes locked with Jane's again.

"No," her voice was soft but the tone was serious and definite. Jane thought for a moment that she had heard wrong but at the same time knew that she hadn't. She nodded but felt a sense of loss as she looked away from her.

"I…I understand. It's alright Maura this would be hard for anyone to handle." Maura took a step forward and Jane's eyes snapped back up at her.

"I'm not giving up on you Jane." She said crossing her arms over her chest. "But I've been kidding myself." She shook her head thinking about the way her life had seemed to crumble in just a few short days. "We need to be apart Jane. You have to learn how to get used to your life again without my distraction and I…I have to learn how to live without you. It wasn't fair of me to just expect you to be ok and jump head first into this relationship with the condition you're in." The words came out calmly but inside it was like her body was fighting a war. Her logical side said that she was doing the right thing and helped to lead her through what she was saying while her emotional side was screaming at her that she was an idiot.

The two of them stood there for a moment examining each other. Jane noticed just how red and puffy Maura's eyes were, how her hair was somewhat tangled in places from lying in bed, and the dark circles that had formed under them showing just how much little real sleep the other woman had been getting. And though she didn't know much about the woman she didn't think that it would be normal for her to still be in her pajamas. She thought about the broken dream she had last night and wanted to tell Maura about it but she kept her mouth shut because she didn't want to give her false hope and have her feelings hurt if she couldn't remember anything else. So she just nodded and offered Maura a sad smile.

"Okay," she whispered.

"I'm not giving up on you Jane," Maura repeated "but I'm going to leave this up to you. However you want to handle this it's up to you. If…" Maura felt her throat hitch at the next thought that came to her attention "if you never want to speak to me again…it's up to you." Jane didn't respond to that. She could see Maura fighting against the tears that had rapidly come into her eyes. A sudden ache swelled up inside of her chest and she felt her heart break for this woman. She imagined that Maura had been through absolute hell these past couple of days. Before she could think about what she was doing, Jane was reached out to her and placed a hand on Maura's arm.

"I won't do that to you." She felt her own tears burning her eyes as she watched one fall down Maura's face "I know that I've been a bit hard to get along with but I'll try to be better and I can't promise that it'll be like you remember…hell I can't even promise that it'll end with a relationship...but I won't just cut you out of my life." She pulled her hand back and Maura immediately missed the contact but she nodded feeling at least some comfort at Jane's words.

"Ok, she managed and felt her throat burn. Her emotions were starting to win the battle. Jane watched Maura fighting sgsinst herself and she decided that it was time for her to leave. It was obvious that Maura didn't want to break down in front of her and that she wouldn't be able to hold back much longer. She would spare her the embarrassment and leave. With a final nod she turned and walked back to her car. She opened the car door but stopped and looked back to where Maura was still standing there watching her.

"I really am sorry Maura." She said and got into the car. Maura watched her pull out of her driveway. She stood there until she could no longer see her car anymore then walked calmly back into her house. The tears began to fall again as she shut the door then it all just came out and she let herself fall against the door and slide to the floor as she let it. It didn't last long however, she managed to get herself together a lot quicker than before. She picked herself up off the floor and wiped away the tears in her eyes. She then walked into the kitchen and grabbed an apple. The ache in her chest being gone allowed her to really feel just how hungry she was. After eating the apple rather quickly and drinking a small cup of milk Maura took the first deep relaxing breath she had taken in a while and decided that it was time for a shower and to get dressed.

**Well I hope you guys liked this chapter. For some reason it was really difficult for me to come up with. Let me know what you think and as always thank all of you for reading and for the awesome reviews!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter: 18**

All the way home Jane replayed the conversation in her head. She thought of the way Maura's eyes held a hopeful but full of fear kind of look in them but there was also something else. There was a strength about her that Jane sensed as she spoke. When she arrived at her building she had made up her mind. If Maura could have the strength to deal with this than surely she could too. She didn't go to her room when she got back inside her apartment. Instead Jane went to the kitchen and began to wash the dishes so that her mother wouldn't have to. Angela was sitting on the couch in the living room when Jane came in and she watched her with an expression she knew must have been of complete shock. Jane didn't say anything to her and when she finished washing the dishes she dried them and put them all away. When she finished she turned around and leaned against the counter. Angela got to her feet and came over to her.

"You were right," she whispered and Angela raised her eyebrows up at that comment. "Enough is enough." Jane said looking up at her mother. Angela nodded and moved so that she was standing beside her. They both stood there leaning against the counter and staring out into the living room area neither of them saying a word.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Angela asked after a while and Jane just shook her head. She pushed herself up off and away from the counter then ran a hand through her hair as she turned to look at her mother.

"No, I…I just want to figure this out." Angela smiled and raised her arms up and towards her. Jane hesitated for a moment but stepped into her mother's open arms and wrapped her arms around her as she did the same. There were no tears as they held each other. There was no sadness. There was only the warmth that flowed between the two of them.

* * *

As the day past on Constance kept a close eye on Maura. After she arrived back from the grocery store she had almost dropped the bags she carried when she walked through the door to see Maura sitting on the floor in front of Bass trying to feed him a strawberry.

"Darling," She said trying to hide the surprise in her voice. "You're…you're up." Maura offered her a small smile, which she then returned. She got up from the floor and smoothed out the dress she had put on then took one of the bags from Constance.

"Yes, I'm feeling a little better." Maura said as she brought the bag to the kitchen. Constance stood frozen for another moment before following behind her.

"May I ask why?" Maura didn't respond right away. She unpacked some of the groceries and began to put them away. Constance watched her but didn't push for an answer.

"Jane stopped by." She finally said as she closed the cabinet door. Constance felt her own heart skip a beat.

"And…are you ok?" She asked carefully.

"Yes, she wanted to apologize for last night." Maura thought back to the conversation and turned around to face her mother. "We talked and decided that it would be good for us to distance ourselves a little in order to…get used to the situation." She felt her eyes begin to sting again and she frowned at herself. How much tears can be in there anyways? She quickly wiped them away and caught Constance staring at her with a sad look. "It's ok," she insisted and tried her best to smile again. Judging by the look on her mother's face it didn't quite work as she wanted it to but it was good enough to get a smile back.

"I'm sorry Maura." Constance said and Maura shook her head.

"Don't be," she replied and the two of them went back to unpacking groceries as they talked. "I think this will be good for us. I think it will help me a lot." Constance paused a glanced back at her. Maura stopped her hands that were picking at the plastic bag and she looked up to meet her mother's eyes. "I…I never knew how much," she sighed and tucked some hair behind her ear. "How much I depend on Jane to be here for me. How…connected I was to her that I can't even function when she's not here." Constance remained silent and Maura shook her head and turned her eyes back down to the groceries. "You must think that I sound foolish." She said quietly. She continued to lift the different items out of the bag but stopped when her mother's hand fell over hers. Constance reached over and lifted her chin so that they were looking at each other again.

"No," she said softly "I think that you sound like a woman in love. I suspect that the same was true for Jane." Maura looked down and nodded. Gently Constance pulled her into her arms and kissed the top of her head. "It'll be ok my darling."

* * *

"I don't know," she whispered and glanced towards the bedroom to make sure her daughter hadn't come out. "She went to bed a few minutes ago. She won't tell me anything really besides 'I'm figuring it out'." Angela said quietly into the phone.

"She's just trying to put everything together and decide where to go from there. " Constance replied. "Maura is in bed as well, she was up all afternoon and had dinner with me though."

"The same for Jane. At least that's an improvement." Angela said with a sigh of relief. "I swear for a moment I thought we were going to lose them. Especially Maura, that poor girl, I can't even imagine how terrible this must be for her." Constance nodded her head in agreement.

"What about you Angela? How are you feeling today?"

"It's getting there, and you?" She replied with a smile. She was so thankful for the new friendship she had found with Constance.

"About the same," she said.

"What can we do to help them?" She asked after a short pause.

"I'm not so sure that we can," Constance said then added before Angela could protest "Of course we'll be here if they need to talk but other than that I'm afraid that they'll have to find there way back to each other by themselves." There was silence and she could tell that Angela was thinking over what she had said. There was a defeated sigh on the other end of the phone before Angela spoke again.

"You're killing me." She said causing them both to giggle. "They will right? Find there way back to each other?" She asked a moment later. Her voice hesitant like she wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer.

"I don't know." Constance replied honestly. "I guess that'll be up to them."

"Jane is so stubborn," Angela replied and Constance smiled as she thought back to the time Jane had approached her at her art installation to basically demand that she treat Maura better.

"I can tell you that I haven't seen a bond like they had in a very long time. I'm confident they'll find a way back to each other. They just need to find something to hold onto. Something to fight for."

**Originally I had more to this chapter but I decided to break it up into two chapters because I didn't think that it fit together right. Anyway I hope that you guys enjoyed this and that it was a bit easier to read than the other chapters. As always thanks for the awesome reviews! **


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter: 19**

_Her eyes were shut tightly and the darkness surrounded her completely. A loud crash off in the distance startled her causing her to squeeze her eyes tighter. Jane could smell the burning of wood and the smoke that filled the air made her throat begin to burn. As it got thicker she began to cough but she kept her eyes closed, refusing to look at the scene before her. Something, a voice maybe, caught her attention and for a moment her stiff muscles began to relax as she tried to concentrate on the voice. Another crash made her nerves jump but she had little time to worry about that, as the voice was growing louder. _

_"Jane…" It was soft and sweet to her ears. It sounded off among the background noise of destruction. "Jane…" It was louder, closer, and calling out to her. Jane realized she knew that voice. Maura? She thought back to what she had been told about the accident. Maura wasn't supposed to be there with her. She began to wonder if this was real or some nightmare that her mind created by taking what people had told her and putting the pieces together wrong. "Jane…" She called out again and Jane registered something in her voice. There was no fear. It was as if she where just calling her name on any normal day. "Jane…" a whisper right next to her ear. Jane's eyes flew open and she could see a room full of thick smoke. It began to fade slowly, very slowly and Jane could barely make out the outlines of the area around her. A table, some chairs, a window, she was back in the place she had seen in the other dream. A laugh coming from behind her made her turn around. Two silhouettes where outlined but she could clearly hear her mother's laughter. The smoke faded a little more but still not enough to see anything clearly. "Jane!" The voice came from behind her, close and excited as it called out. Jane spun around and felt the room tilt for a moment before going back to normal. The silhouette of a woman in the doorway and the smoke cleared some more. She could make out her face and the red sundress she was wearing. The woman moved closer and the smoke faded faster. With each step the woman took it got thinner and thinner until it was gone and the woman was standing before her. Jane looked around and knew the house to be the same as the one she had eaten breakfast at. Streamers hung around the room and balloons where tied to the legs of a table where some snacks where sitting. She turned back to the woman standing before her. Her honey blonde hair shone brightly in the sunlight coming from the window. A dazzling smile made her entire face light up. _

_Jane felt like she wasn't in control of her body anymore. She felt herself lean forward towards the woman whose smile only brightened as she came closer. She felt her reach out and take her hands in her own. She felt herself lean forward, inching closer, the woman whispered something that Jane couldn't hear but she felt herself smile at whatever it was. She slowly moved closer until their faces where inches apart then everything got fuzzy again. The image got darker and darker until it was gone. _

Jane shot up in her bed and had to take a moment to look around to see where she was again. Her skin seemed to tingle at the memory of her dream. It was so real feeling. She could still hear the crashing, still smell the smoke, could feel how her throat burned. Then there was the other part and she could see the decorated room she had found herself in. She could hear her mother's laughter but most of all she could see Maura. Jane closed her eyes and was able to bring back the image of the woman from her dreams. She could see the sunlight casting the perfect amount of light against her hair. The way she had smiled at Jane with a brightness that seemed like it could never be dimmed. How her eyes were shining with nothing but pure love and happiness. Jane could still feel the way her body had moved forward. How she had been the one to inch towards her to bring their faces closer.

"Maura," She whispered in the quietness of the room. Jane opened her eyes and looked around the darkness. There would definitely be not going back to sleep so she lay back against her pillows. Looking over at the nightstand she saw that the picture was still turned over. She reached out and carefully set it back up. Maura wore a similar expression on her face but it didn't compare to the real thing. _Was it the real thing?_ Jane thought as she looked at the picture. _Was that a memory or something that my mind just created? _She thought about it for a moment longer before deciding that she didn't care. It took only a minute or two later for her to come to the decision to text Maura in the morning, at least to check and see how she was doing. _Take it slow_, Jane decided and suddenly it felt as if a huge weight was lifted off of her. She found herself smiling slightly as she settled back and brought the image up again. She would hold that image in her head and keep it close and refuse to let it go.

* * *

_Maura was half asleep when she heard the bedroom door open._ _Jane moved quietly into the room and climbed into her side of the bed. Maura smiled and immediately moved closer to the warmth that she brought with her. Jane smiled back and kicked off her shoes before wrapping her arms around her girlfriend and pulling her closer. _

_"I thought you'd never make it home." Maura whispered as she laid her head against Jane's chest. _

_"Sorry, I tried to wrap everything up as fast as I could." She whispered back and Maura nodded. "The good thing is that we've got this case all finished up and you have me all to yourself all weekend." _

_"I know," she said then looked up at her. "Did you eat?" Jane shook her head and pressed a kiss on the top of Maura's head and hugged her closer before she could argue. _

_"I wanted to hold you." She whispered and Maura's smile grew bigger. _

_"What if I was asleep?" She asked. _

_"Then I would have tried my best not to wake you up as I held you." Jane replied and Maura felt her heart flutter. She loved her so much. Se lowered her head back down so that it rested against Jane's chest and snuggled closer. _

_"I love you," She said as quietly as her eyes grew heavier. _

_"And I love you." She pressed another kiss to her head. "Always." _

Maura wouldn't know but as she dreamt that night she began to smile softly as she slept. In the morning when she would wake up she would remember the dream. She would remember the way it had felt with Jane's arms wrapped around her and the way her heart had melted when Jane whispered that she loved her. She would remember and she would get up out of the bed. After taking a shower she would call into work and tell them that they could call her in again if need be. She wouldn't be ready for it but she would insist on being strong. As the time would pass by that day with no phone calls she would think back to the dream. She would smile and hold on to that memory, hold on to the memory of the love that they had shared. She would hold onto it as hard as she could and never let it go.

**The End.**

**And…that concludes the second part to this story! I really do hope you guys enjoyed it even if it was a bit hard to read but it was suppose to be. I was trying to make you guys feel sad and maybe a bit frustrated with the situation and you guys did amazing with this! There was even a bit of a 'Should Maura move on or not' thing going on in the reviews which is sort of something else I was trying to make you guys question. Thank you all for being patient and sticking around and also for the awesome reviews! The third and last part to this will be called Connections and I will be posting after I finish my other stories which I'm hoping won't take too long. I believe it'll be a lot easier on you guys ****. Hope to see you there! Oh, and if any of you have any questions about things you didn't understand or something like that, feel free to PM me :)**


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